Before I became a parent, I was led to believe by the Blissed-Out Organization of Breastfeeders that nursing would be a straightforward and easy process. The assumptions were that breastfeeding is painless, that babies are always cooperative, and that every mother can effortlessly nurse while multitasking—whether it’s cooking dinner or typing with one hand. As a proud member of BOOB today, I can tell you that breastfeeding isn’t always a walk in the park. In fact, my current night routine is far from what I envisioned.
When nursing, there’s no need to prepare a bottle or warm milk, allowing for a seemingly seamless experience in the middle of the night. I imagined myself waking up with perfectly tousled hair and a hint of lip gloss, smiling at my baby as he cooed for milk. I would lift him effortlessly from his bassinet, nurse him quietly, and then gently place him back, patting his head and returning to sleep without ever leaving the comfort of my bed.
That, however, is not my reality.
If this describes your life perfectly, keep doing you—because I aspire to be you someday. Unfortunately, our second child has reflux, and things get a bit chaotic. Here’s my 21-step guide to nighttime nursing that you might find useful:
- Wake up to cooing and grunting. Leap out of bed before it escalates into a full-blown cry.
- Navigate to the rocking chair in darkness; any light might wake the baby. Attach the Boppy pillow to your waist, ensuring burp cloths and wipes are within reach.
- Politely ask your partner to fetch you a glass of water, since nursing makes you thirstier than a marathon runner in the desert.
- Bring baby to breast.
- Baby will nurse for a few minutes before fussing. Observe his body language: is he still hungry, or does he need to burp? Is he rooting? Yes, he must be hungry.
- Attempt to re-latch the baby.
- WRONG. Baby erupts with three ounces of milk all over you. Realize he needs to be burped. Try to sit him upright while milk spills everywhere, and grab a burp cloth for the mess.
- Pat the baby’s back until at least one of your shoulders is soaked. Assume you’ve solved the issue.
- Stumble to the changing table in the dark as baby’s pajamas are now soaked. Unsnap them to find a very full diaper.
- Replace the diaper while wondering what’s spraying you in the face. More pee.
- Turn on the light.
- Secure the diaper tabs and give the area a quick wipe with a baby cloth.
- Dress the baby in fresh pajamas.
- Place him back in the bassinet, but realize the light has woken him up.
- Ignore the wakefulness for 15 minutes, just 15 minutes! Crawl back into bed, exhausted and smelling of sour milk.
- Listen for sputtering, and panic as baby chokes on his own spit-up. Quickly clean him up.
- Lie back down.
- For another 15 minutes. Awaken to more grunting—he’s hungry again.
- Bring baby to breast. Repeat the previous steps in any order.
- Ultimately decide that it’s okay to let baby sleep in a wet diaper with dried milk on his face.
- Convince yourself it’s just for tonight. Tomorrow at 3 a.m., you’ll have perfect hair and a bright smile.
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In summary, navigating the challenges of nursing a baby with reflux requires patience and a sense of humor. The process may not be as serene as depicted in parenting ads, but with a bit of preparation and flexibility, you can get through the night.