Updated: May 14, 2020
Originally Published: Oct. 16, 2015
When I was around ten years old, a pivotal moment in my life unfolded. My aunt, once the epitome of cool, experienced a mental health crisis that remains etched in my memory. I remember standing in my grandmother’s kitchen, watching as she screamed, her head buried in her hands. That evening marked the beginning of a complex relationship with mental health in my family.
At the time, I was wearing stylish black and white saddle shoes that my aunt had gifted me, as she had a flair for fashion. We often spent hours flipping through magazines, critiquing outfits long before it was fashionable to do so publicly. To me, she was not just an aunt; she was a friend and a mentor—someone who shared her love for Aretha Franklin and encouraged me to chase my dreams, despite any doubts from others.
That night, my aunt was taken to a hospital for observation, where she remained for several months. Even after her return, we danced around the topic of her mental health. As I grew into a teenager and later an adult with my own family, we never addressed the underlying issues. She never spoke of the grief she endured after losing her newborn son, a tragedy that likely contributed to her struggles with mental health. Neither I nor our family understood clinical depression, which I suspect she battled silently. Sadly, she never sought ongoing therapy.
When she passed away at 54, she had been relying on a cocktail of medications for years, and I often assisted her in managing them. Despite her struggles, she never lost her cool factor in my eyes. But I understood that she would not have wanted anyone else to suffer as she did. After her death, I felt compelled to share her story with my children and nieces, highlighting the importance of addressing mental health issues before they escalate into crises.
I want to emphasize that the term “Crazy” is used here with respect, as my aunt would have defied any politically correct terminology surrounding her condition. She would have urged us to begin an overdue conversation about mental health, particularly among women. Ignoring these issues can allow them to fester and grow. We must learn to recognize the subtle signs of conditions like postpartum depression, panic attacks, addiction, and more, and be willing to intervene.
Many people hide their struggles, feeling uncomfortable discussing the toll that life events can take on mental health. It’s tough to admit that after welcoming a healthy baby, one might feel the urge to retreat into darkness, or that a divorce might resurrect long-buried issues, prompting thoughts of self-harm. These significant challenges cannot be resolved with superficial fixes; they require real attention and care.
I recall watching a video of Chiara de Blasio, daughter of former New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio, discussing her own battles with depression and substance abuse. At just 19, she encouraged young people to share their stories. I often think of how different my aunt’s life might have been had she felt empowered to speak out.
Too many families are affected by mental health issues, often unnoticed until it becomes too severe to ignore. It is crucial to dismantle the stigma surrounding mental illness, allowing for open discussions that strip away shame and fear. We need more conversations about mental health at family gatherings and in educational settings, along with increased public awareness campaigns.
Mental well-being should be prioritized as a public health issue, deserving of funding for treatment and educational programs. If we can foster an environment of empathy and understanding for those grappling with mental health challenges, we can create a safer space for healing. Teaching our children to approach mental health with compassion is, indeed, a ‘crazy cool’ legacy to leave behind.
If you or someone you know is facing mental health challenges, please seek help. The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) provides valuable resources to help reduce stigma and support those affected by mental illness.
Summary:
This article reflects on the author’s family history with mental health, particularly focusing on her aunt’s struggles. It underscores the importance of open conversations about mental health issues, the need for societal change in attitudes toward mental illness, and the significance of seeking help. The author advocates for dismantling stigma and creating safe spaces for discussions about mental health, encouraging families to address these challenges head-on.