Each month, like clockwork, I receive a notification from my child’s school announcing the completion of their monthly lockdown drill. This alert serves to reassure me that it is merely a drill, and there’s no cause for alarm. Yet, I can’t shake my worry. This routine serves as a stark reminder of how deeply autism influences my son’s daily life. The thought of his safety during such a critical situation terrifies me, especially because I fear he may not fully grasp what is at stake.
You often hear about teachers guiding their students into a safe space like a closet or restroom, instructing them to remain quiet. However, when it comes to my son, he may be doing the opposite—chattering away, excitedly announcing to his peers and educators that a surprise awaits them. His unique blend of innocence and autism leads him to mistakenly interpret the situation as a game, perhaps thinking they are engaged in hide-and-seek or preparing for a fun event. Instead of hushed silence, he may be loudly whispering “Be quiet!” without realizing that he himself needs to fall silent to protect everyone in that room.
This reality fills me with frustration. I despise that lockdown drills have become a part of his school experience. The combination of his autism and challenges in communication could inadvertently put him and his classmates in danger. Even a small sound from him could compromise their safety, a fact that weighs heavily on my heart.
When his teacher first brought this issue to my attention, I felt my heart sink. She seemed relatively unfazed, and it appeared my son wasn’t the only one struggling with this concept. He simply lacks the understanding of the gravity of these drills, which are meant to ensure his safety. I was reassured that they would work on these skills in class, but that doesn’t ease my anxiety.
Part of me is indignant that we even have to contend with such grim realities. Can’t we just focus on typical childhood challenges? Now, I have to worry whether my son’s innocent reactions might unintentionally endanger himself and others. I always imagined that teaching life skills meant preparing him for independence; now it feels like it includes the critical task of survival.
I sincerely hope that I will never have to confront the reality of an actual emergency, but each month when that notification pings my phone, those fears resurface.
I don’t have a solution or even a suggestion to offer. It’s just another layer of complexity that comes with autism—one that many might not consider until faced with it firsthand.
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Summary
The article reflects on the emotional toll and safety concerns of lockdown drills for the author’s autistic child, highlighting the challenges that arise when a child’s understanding of such situations is limited. It emphasizes the need for awareness and support in navigating these difficult realities while also linking to resources that may aid in broader discussions around safety and health.