By: Lisa Thompson
Updated: Aug. 2, 2016
Originally Published: Oct. 7, 2015
At the age of 20, I found myself unexpectedly pregnant. For the first eleven weeks, I chose to ignore the reality of my situation. I brushed off my missed periods, hurried past pregnancy tests in stores, and avoided acknowledging the physical changes in my body. I hoped that if I stayed silent, the problem would simply vanish. Yet, a growing sense of anxiety shadowed me. Night after night, I was haunted in my dreams by a figure with a cage for a mouth.
Eventually, I confided in someone I deeply trusted. She was heartbroken for me, and for the potential life I carried, but she stepped up to help me arrange the abortion, drove me to the clinic, and supported me afterward. That moment was 24 years ago. Since then, while I haven’t hidden my experience, I also haven’t widely shared it. I can easily count on one hand the number of people who knew about my decision. Although it was the right choice for me and my future family, I viewed it as a private matter.
Recently, I came across an article by Katha Pollitt in The New York Times titled “How to Really Defend Planned Parenthood.” In it, she noted that nearly one in three American women has undergone an abortion, yet individual stories are rarely shared. Pollitt urged those who have benefited from the legal right to abortion to begin sharing their experiences. Inspired by her words, I decided to speak out.
I posted on social media, sharing that I had terminated a pregnancy in my youth and expressed gratitude to Planned Parenthood for their invaluable services. Pressing “post” took mere seconds, but it followed days of internal struggle. I understood that while it was my story, sharing it could impact my family. My husband and I discussed the implications, and I expressed my fears of backlash and its potential effect on those closest to me.
We also considered the reasons why I felt compelled to speak. I recognized my past recklessness in getting pregnant when I wasn’t ready for motherhood, but I also felt fortunate—fortunate to live in a country where abortion is safe and legal, to have access to compassionate care providers, and to be able to afford the necessary services. Remaining silent about my abortion felt like a disservice to other women who may not have had the same privileges but who shared similar feelings of desperation.
My husband listened intently and simply said, “It sounds like you really want to talk about it.” His sensitive observation made me realize that despite my fears, I truly did want to share my story.
The response to my post was overwhelmingly positive. I received support from long-time friends and family members, and a brief note from the father of my childhood best friend that deeply touched me. However, someone from my high school, whom I had always liked but didn’t know well, commented on my post. My heart sank as I prepared to read his thoughts, unsure of how he might react.
As I read his comment, it became evident that we had differing views on abortion. He expressed his opposition to government funding for it and his stance against late-term abortions. Yet, what struck me was his tone. I had dreaded personal attacks, but instead, he responded in a manner that was sincere and respectful. I am grateful for his comment because it reminded me that amidst the often hostile discourse surrounding abortion, meaningful conversations can take place.
Engaging in open, honest, and compassionate discussions about abortion is only possible when individuals feel safe expressing their truths. Too often, online discussions devolve into hostility, driven by anonymous commenters. It is crucial that if we have something to say, particularly when challenging someone else’s values or beliefs, we do so under our real names.
Reflecting on my journey, I realize that at 20, I could never have imagined publicly discussing my personal struggles. Today, I would want to sit with that panicked younger self, reassuring her that in the future, she would find the strength to speak up and that her story could be heard and understood.
For those interested in exploring related topics, check out this insightful post on boosting fertility supplements and learn about how Make a Mom helped families conceive fraternal twins. For more information on pregnancy and insemination, you can also visit WebMD’s guide on IUI success.
Summary:
This article recounts the journey of a woman who, after years of silence about her abortion, decided to publicly share her experience in light of Katha Pollitt’s call to action. It highlights the importance of open dialogue surrounding abortion, the need for compassionate conversations, and the realization that personal stories can foster understanding, even among those with opposing views.