As I go about my daily routine—shaving my legs, for example—I often find myself reflecting on the rituals we women engage in, often without questioning their origins or purpose. It’s not just about shaving; it’s a multitude of societal expectations that encourage us to wax, bleach, and modify our bodies endlessly. We often treat our physical selves as separate entities, detached from our true identities. Across cultures and eras—be it the Ming Dynasty, the Edwardian period, or modern-day Hollywood—women have subjected themselves to the fickle standards of beauty dictated by the prevailing social norms. From foot binding to toxic face powders, the historical measures women have adopted to conform are staggering.
As my eldest daughter approaches her pre-teen years, I am filled with anxiety about how to prepare her for the challenges of womanhood. I remember the sting of being teased about body hair in elementary school; I was mocked for having hairy legs in the fifth grade. It’s a painful rite of passage that many young girls experience, including celebrities like Mia, who shared her own experience in a recent interview.
It’s crucial to understand that the girl who teases is often just a product of the same societal pressures we all face. She has internalized the relentless barrage of critical messages directed at women, and, like me, she may not even recognize the harm in her words.
Interestingly, my daughters have no problem barging into the bathroom while I’m occupied. I’ve become so accustomed to their interruptions that they hardly phase me. Yet when I’m shaving, I instinctively pull the shower curtain for privacy, not because of shame, but because I want to avoid “the conversation” about body hair. It’s not just about explaining the societal pressures; it’s about preserving their innocence and helping them grow up without feeling the need to conform to arbitrary beauty standards.
I want them to embrace their bodies as powerful instruments—legs that carry them through fields, arms that engage in sports, and feet that twirl in ballet, rather than objects to be judged based on appearance. They’re still at an age where they don’t yet measure their worth against societal scales of attractiveness, but that day is inevitably approaching.
The thought of them viewing themselves through the lens of others, particularly the male gaze, is distressing. I grapple with the reality that I continue to conform to societal norms; I shave and maintain my appearance, not necessarily out of desire, but out of obligation. I navigate the expectations of femininity—moisturizing, wearing makeup, and keeping up appearances—despite often wishing to spend my free time pursuing passions like writing or painting. Yet, I find myself caught in the cycle of maintaining an appearance that meets societal approval.
In my college days, I admired women who rejected these norms, proclaiming them to be sexist and unnecessary. However, such defiance seems scarce among today’s young women. The pressure to conform is overwhelming, and often, we enforce these standards among ourselves, critiquing each other’s choices and looks. The transformation of girl power into insecurity seems to be a relentless cycle, and I wish for my daughters to see their bodies as strong and capable, rather than mere vessels for others to evaluate.
Ultimately, I want to extend their period of innocence for as long as possible, encouraging them to view their bodies as powerful vessels rather than objects of scrutiny. They deserve to realize their full potential without the weight of societal expectations bearing down on them.
For more insights on navigating these topics, check out resources like Mount Sinai’s infertility resources and seeking medical advice, which provide valuable information about women’s health. And if you’re considering starting a family, explore the home insemination kit for a supportive guide.
Summary
The journey of preparing daughters for womanhood involves navigating societal expectations and pressures surrounding beauty and self-worth. Mothers grapple with instilling confidence in their daughters while confronting their own compliance with cultural norms. It’s essential to foster an understanding of bodies as powerful entities rather than objects for evaluation, encouraging young girls to embrace their strength and capabilities.