When my ex-husband moved out six years ago, my first act of independence was purchasing a new bed. But not just any bed—a gargantuan Tempur-Pedic that set me back nearly $4,000, a sum I certainly couldn’t afford at the time. While it may not have been the most prudent choice, I believe it was the best investment I’ve ever made. The bed was symbolic; I couldn’t bear the thought of sleeping in the same space where so many late-night arguments and empty morning reconciliations took place. On a practical level, this luxurious new bed promised relief from the severe stress-induced insomnia I had developed during the last years of my marriage.
Not only did I upgrade to a new bed, but I also transitioned from a queen to a king size. Admittedly, this decision was a bit impractical—after all, who would occupy the other half? But along with discarding the marital mattress, I wanted to replace the bedding too. This was my chance for a fresh start.
At that time, my children were just 5 and 2 years old when I sat them down on a cold winter weekend to deliver the life-altering news: “Daddy won’t be living with us anymore.” They were far too young to grasp what that really meant, and I knew their lives would never be the same. Thus, I embraced this new normal and initiated fresh traditions for us three.
I didn’t expect these traditions to endure for so long, but six years later, what began as an enthusiastic promise to have fun has thrived. One of the first traditions we created was “Sunday Adventure Day.” On random Sundays, I would wake the kids early, coax them to get ready swiftly with the allure of doughnuts, and then whisk them off to a surprise destination. Sugar-fueled, they would eagerly guess where we were headed. Over the years, we’ve explored the zoo, picked apples and pumpkins, gone ice skating and trampoline jumping, visited all the Smithsonian museums, and even trekked to Baltimore for the National Aquarium and the Maryland Science Center.
Matching Christmas Eve pajamas became another cherished family custom, born from that first year we decorated the tree without their father. Initially, I selected the patterns and styles, but now they spend weeks flipping through catalogs to find the perfect set. I may cringe at their insistence that I wear red and green Star Wars-themed long johns, but I’ve saved every year’s pajamas with dreams of turning them into quilts someday.
By far, their favorite tradition has become “Sleepover Night.” This started as a way to comfort my daughter when her father failed to show up one evening as promised. I invited her to snuggle in my bed, turned on a movie, made popcorn, and dubbed it a sleepover. We’ve stuck to this routine nearly every weekend since then. Once my son was old enough to leave his crib, we invited him to join us.
Over the years, Sleepover Night has seen some changes. We had to move my son out of the bed due to his restless tossing (he now sleeps on a chaise longue a few feet away). Movie choices have shifted from Pixar to Marvel, and our popcorn-making has become a bit erratic. Some weekends, social plans disrupt our tradition, while others have allowed us to extend it for additional nights due to snowstorms, illness, or school breaks.
Fortunately, the bed—now fully paid for—remains a sanctuary. Last year, when we had our floors redone, it became our only uncovered surface for two weeks, affectionately dubbed “Bed Island,” serving as a couch, table, and lounging area. Whenever someone in the house feels down, it’s my bed they seek comfort in.
Just last night, the kids dug out their Star Wars holiday pajamas and insisted I don mine as well for Sleepover Night. Now 11 and 8, I can’t help but wonder how many more weekends they’ll want to spend with me, munching popcorn and watching movies, let alone dressing in matching sleepwear. I asked if they’d still want to have sleepovers as teenagers. “Of course!” they exclaimed. “What about when you go to college?” I challenged. My daughter reassured me, “I’ll come home every weekend.” I smiled, knowing everything will change again, but we’ll continue to forge new traditions.
Then we all snuggled onto the bed and pressed play.
Summary:
After her marriage ended, Clara Jennings made a bold choice to buy a new Tempur-Pedic bed, marking a fresh start. Along with creating cherished family traditions like Sunday Adventure Days and Sleepover Nights, she navigated life with her young children, ensuring they found joy amidst change. As they continue to grow, Clara reflects on how these traditions have shaped their lives and fostered connections, even as the future remains uncertain.