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How Do We Encourage Our Children to Embrace New Experiences?
by Max Johnson
Updated: July 2, 2020
Originally Published: Sep. 30, 2015
Reflecting on my childhood, I recall a time when my parents could suggest activities and my brother and I would happily comply, without a hint of dissent. We would pile into the car, excited to venture wherever they chose, often to places that were more about affordability than culinary excellence.
Growing up in sunny Southern California, our dining options included the legendary Mike’s Pizza (which tasted more like cardboard than anything) and Chris & Pitts, a name that perfectly described its offerings. On occasion, we were treated to a visit to Sizzler for their all-you-can-eat buffet—a real treat in our household.
Our family vacations were never extravagant. Despite that, we never voiced our discontent; we were too apprehensive about the possible consequences of doing so. Our trips usually involved car rides to popular destinations within a five-hour radius. If you’re familiar with the West Coast, you’ll recognize names like Las Vegas, San Diego, Santa Barbara, Palm Springs, and even places in Mexico like Baja and Tijuana. I often joke that the only proof of our family vacations are the photographs, as the memories themselves have faded.
When I became a parent, I vowed that my wife and I would provide our children with unforgettable adventures—no more skimping on vacations, restaurants, or entertainment. However, as our kids have grown—one now entering high school and the other in fourth grade—I’ve come to realize that these grand outings often come with significant challenges. Instead of enthusiastic cheers when we announce our plans, we’re met with interrogations about accommodations, activities, and even requests to choose alternate destinations.
Even now, as I write this during a vacation, I can hear the grumbling from our kids in the hotel room. We planned a summer getaway to Montreal, a lovely five-and-a-half-hour drive from our home in Connecticut. While the journey was relatively smooth, the kids quickly began questioning why we didn’t opt for a quicker flight. I felt the urge to justify our decision to drive, but inside I was seething with frustration. Thankfully, the allure of exploring a new country seemed to pacify them once we reached the hotel—surprisingly, it met with their approval. Now, as we navigate this exciting city, my thoughts are focused on whether we can agree on a single activity during our stay and if we can manage to avoid conflict for just half a day.
The same pattern emerges with our dining choices and other plans—from lunch outings to movie selections. Having relocated to Southern Connecticut, close to New York City—home to a myriad of fantastic yet pricey restaurants—our children have dined in more fine establishments by age five than I did throughout my college years. While I appreciate that they have been exposed to such rich experiences, it doesn’t stop the disagreements about where to eat on any given night. The headaches persist.
I cherish the opportunities we’ve given our kids and truly enjoy them, yet I struggle with how to instill in them the understanding that we, as parents, ultimately make the decisions. Perhaps the solution lies in taking them to a less appealing spot like Chris & Pitts the next time we’re in LA. That just might teach them a lesson.
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In summary, teaching our children to embrace new experiences while relinquishing some control can be a challenging yet rewarding journey. As parents, we strive to provide enriching experiences, but we must also navigate the inevitable pushback and disagreements that come with it.