When I was expecting my second child, I discovered that my sister-in-law, Mia, was also about to welcome her second. My daughter arrived in December, while her son, Leo, was due in June. On April 25, we received the news that Leo had arrived six weeks early, which filled me with concern for their family. He needed some time in the neonatal intensive care unit, and that was my first real understanding of the challenges of juggling a newborn in the hospital, a partner with a demanding job, a recovering mother, and a toddler at home. Leo was born prematurely due to an oxygen obstruction, and discussions about cerebral palsy (CP) began to surface, outlining a grim future where Leo might struggle to sit up, walk, feed himself, or speak.
Naturally, this news left the family heartbroken. Yet, Mia refused to succumb to despair. From the onset, she dove into researching CP, focusing on prognosis, care, and physical therapy. Determined not to let statistics dictate Leo’s life, she resolved to set her own expectations. Mia made it her mission for Leo to achieve milestones like sitting up, rolling over, crawling, feeding himself, talking, and walking—and he has accomplished all of these.
Watching Leo grow has been truly inspiring, as has observing Mia’s approach to motherhood. Here are some important lessons I’ve learned from her:
- Perspective is Key: Whenever I feel overwhelmed, I remind myself of the challenges other mothers face. Mia balances her full-time teaching career while her husband works long, inflexible shifts, often leaving her to manage everything alone. Despite this, she tirelessly keeps up with Leo’s therapies and ensures her children are involved in activities, like gymnastics—yes, Leo is a gymnast! At the end of a long day, I think of Mia handling appointments and consultations with grace, which inspires me.
- Be Your Child’s Advocate: A mother is the fiercest advocate for her child. Mia never accepts “no” for an answer. She fights for Leo to have a fulfilling life, navigating the often bewildering healthcare system and seeking the best educational options. Mia’s determination to secure necessary equipment and support has tremendously benefitted Leo.
- Challenge Limiting Beliefs: Never let anyone convince you that your child cannot achieve something. Mia has instilled in Leo the belief that anything is possible. He doesn’t view limitations as inherent; he doesn’t know that others have opinions on what he can or cannot do, thanks to Mia’s positive influence.
- Embrace the Adventure: Raising a child with special needs doesn’t mean life is any less exciting, even if it diverges from initial expectations. When Mia learned Leo was a boy, their dreams included hockey games and golf outings. While their reality has shifted, they have adapted and found ways to enjoy life together, exploring activities that engage Leo.
- Ask Questions Freely: Initially, I hesitated to inquire about Leo and his journey, worried I might upset Mia. However, I’ve learned she welcomes questions and discussions about what makes Leo unique. Mia believes that spreading knowledge is vital to combating ignorance.
- Listen to Moms with Special Needs Children: Whether dealing with conditions like CP, autism, or food allergies, the insights from these mothers are invaluable. Unless you have a child with similar challenges, you cannot claim expertise. Yet, these mothers do, and their requests are made with their child’s best interest at heart. It’s essential to approach these discussions with openness and a willingness to learn.
Thank you, Mia, for these invaluable lessons. You truly embody strength and resilience.
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In summary, Mia has shown me the power of perspective, advocacy, and resilience in motherhood. Her journey with Leo proves that challenges can be met with love, determination, and a refusal to accept limitations.