The notion of soulmates has never resonated with me. From my pre-teen years into adulthood, I fantasized about a profound, transformative love. But the idea that there exists one singular person in the universe who is meant to be my perfect match? I was doubtful, albeit still human. At 22, back in 1996, I was captivated when I heard a certain actor declare, “You complete me,” to his onscreen partner. It seemed so profound at the time. I also thought that actor was quite remarkable. However, as I matured, my views evolved.
According to Merriam-Webster, a “soulmate” is defined as “a person who is perfectly suited to another in temperament.”
I’ve experienced love, infatuation, and even unreciprocated crushes, and I’ve endured heartbreak. I’ve tasted both loss and victory in matters of the heart. Through it all, I have never subscribed to the idea of “perfect” anything. Did I mention my disbelief in soulmates?
What I do believe is that:
- Two individuals can be incredibly compatible.
- Two individuals can also be completely mismatched.
- Love should uplift, not diminish or defeat your spirit.
- Attraction doesn’t automatically equate to a relationship or genuine love.
- Attraction is significant.
- Love requires effort and compromise.
- However, love shouldn’t always feel like a struggle.
- Timing is often more critical than we acknowledge.
- It’s possible to experience multiple great loves in a lifetime; each is unique and does not invalidate the previous ones.
- I enjoy being in a relationship more than being single.
- Yet, I also cherish solitude more than being with someone unsuited for me.
- No one is here to complete you.
- You don’t need someone else to feel whole.
- Love is inherently imperfect; it doesn’t arrive on cue or in the exact form you envisioned.
- You can indeed find a love that stands out, a love you deem as the love of your life.
Additionally, I reject the notion that “you must love yourself before you can love someone else.” There are many aspects of myself that I find unlovable. Nevertheless, my perhaps-perpetually imperfect self is capable of love. After four decades and some focused self-reflection, I have come to accept myself as I am. This acceptance allows me to love and embrace another person for who they truly are.
That’s enough for me.
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Summary
The author expresses disbelief in the concept of soulmates, emphasizing the importance of compatibility and acceptance in love. Relationships should uplift rather than diminish one’s spirit. The idea of needing to be completed by another person is rejected, and the author finds empowerment in self-acceptance, which facilitates true love for others.