Every time I wrap up a workout, my face resembles a tomato, my heart races like a wild stallion, and my legs feel like they’ve been through an intense poetry slam. Every muscle in my body is screaming, yet somehow I feel incredible. Then the thought hits me: why don’t I do this more often? The rush of endorphins flooding my system is undeniably wonderful, but still, I find myself dodging exercise like it’s a trip to a sketchy diner.
My mind is a champion at crafting excuses—always has been. If I need a reason to avoid physical activity, my brain can whip up a list that rivals a lengthy shopping list. Here’s why I just can’t hit the gym right now:
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I’ve Already Showered.
Let’s be honest—getting a moment of peace to take a shower feels like winning the lottery. The idea of going through that effort twice in one day is unimaginable. Seriously, look up the record for “Mom Who Bathed Twice in One Day.” Spoiler alert: it doesn’t exist. Being sprayed by the garden hose doesn’t count either. -
I’m Definitely Getting My Period.
Oh great, just felt a twinge. That’s a clear sign my period is about to drop in uninvited. I swear I read somewhere that exercising while on your period leads to weight gain. Even if my time of the month is still a week away, that cramp is a warning sign. Best to hold off until this storm passes, right? -
It’s Pouring Outside.
Running is my go-to workout, and while it’s free and convenient, rain makes it a no-go. I don’t invest in the fancy running gear; I prefer my trusty black leggings that constantly need adjusting. If the skies open up, I can throw on an old hoodie, but drenched cotton adds weight I’d rather avoid. I’m not looking to develop trench foot, thanks to my binge-watching of war documentaries. -
My Stomach is Uncooperative.
When my belly starts rumbling and I haven’t been to the bathroom in hours, I can’t help but think that the moment I venture too far from home, my insides will demand attention. I can hold off on a lot, but when nature calls, it’s like a freight train on a fixed schedule. -
My Child is Clingy.
You know those cute videos where moms and their kids do yoga together? Yeah, that’s not happening here. If I drop to the floor, my little one is right on top of me, asking questions and demanding snacks as if I’m a snack machine. I need a distraction-free zone to tackle my workout—one that permits a little colorful language as I attempt to conquer a set of squats.
Feel free to borrow any of these handy excuses when faced with pressure from overly enthusiastic friends. Or just come hang out with me—our heavy lifting consists of maneuvering chips into a seven-layer dip, and let’s be honest, that’s a workout in itself.
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Summary:
In this lighthearted exploration of excuses for avoiding exercise, we dive into the relatable challenges faced by busy parents. From the struggle of fitting in a shower to dealing with a clingy child, the reasons are both humorous and real. Whether it’s the weather or hormonal fluctuations, there’s always a valid reason to delay that workout.