My 4-year-old son, Alex, embodies many qualities of a typical child. He loves to run around, engage in tickle battles, dance to music, play games on my phone, and listen to bedtime stories. However, his autism places him on a different plane than his peers. Navigating life with a nonverbal child poses many challenges, often magnified by misconceptions from those around him. Here are five essential points I wish people understood about Alex:
1. His Silence Doesn’t Equal Ignorance
Just because he doesn’t speak doesn’t mean he can’t hear or comprehend what’s going on around him. There are two forms of language: expressive and receptive. We’ve confirmed through hearing tests that his receptive language skills are normal in at least one ear. I sometimes forget this myself, and I can only imagine that if he ever starts talking, the first words might be some colorful language he picked up in the car. Please speak to him as you would any child—he’s more aware than you might think.
2. He Has a Sharp Sense of Humor
Alex has a wonderfully cheeky side. His grasp of sarcasm is quite impressive for his age. He enjoys teasingly pointing to the wrong item when asked during therapy, or lounging back and casually checking the clock as if he knows exactly when his session is up. Once, he pretended to give a high five to his speech therapist, only to run his hand through his hair instead—much to his amusement. During an assessment at a renowned autism clinic, he cleverly paused his puzzle work the moment the doctor turned around, acting as if it wasn’t even there.
3. He’s Not a Human Calculator
While it’s great that you’ve seen movies like Rain Man, it’s important to understand that not all individuals with autism have extraordinary talents. Alex isn’t going to recount how many toothpicks I dropped or compose a symphony on his toy piano. His brain operates differently, and that doesn’t mean he has any special abilities to showcase. Even if he did, I wouldn’t want to turn it into a party trick.
4. He’s a Master at Reading People
Alex has an uncanny ability to navigate social situations. He knows how to charm the people around him, often manipulating circumstances to his advantage. He can play teachers and therapists like a pro, knowing that his cuteness often leads to a soft spot. And no, I don’t sit around all day holding him—he’s a lively 45-pound bundle of energy that’s hard to contain!
5. He’s More Than His Diagnosis
What you might see as a child lost in thought or flapping his hands is just the surface. Alex is an extraordinary little boy who struggles with communication but is rich in personality. Don’t underestimate him. Every child deserves to be treated with respect, and you would miss out on getting to know an incredible kid.
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In summary, understanding a nonverbal child requires an open mind and the recognition that there is so much more beneath the surface than what appears at first glance.