I never imagined I would become a structured parent. Before having children, I was known for being laid-back and adaptable. Traveling was a breeze for me; I could easily navigate changes and challenges without a fuss. But once I became a mother, everything changed.
From the moment my first child was born, I found myself adhering to a strict schedule. At just two weeks old, my baby was on a routine, thanks to a book that promised restful nights. In those sleep-deprived days, I would have followed any advice that promised a little peace, even if it meant taking drastic measures.
To be honest, we didn’t strictly follow the schedule; it was more of a guideline. For instance, if my son woke up at 6:15 a.m. instead of 7 a.m., it threw off the entire day. The morning nap would shift from 9 a.m. to 8:25 a.m., and we’d scramble to adjust the rest of our day to ensure he was in bed by 7 p.m. Looking back, it’s a bit comical—our attempts to keep him awake when he needed sleep, and vice versa. Yet, we persevered, with “The Schedule” dominating our conversations. As my brother-in-law, a family doctor, humorously noted, “These plans give parents something to focus on while their child develops into a normal sleeper.”
Because my son was a naturally good sleeper, we attributed our success to the rigid schedule. This led us to prioritize strict nap and bedtime routines for both our first and second child. I avoided scheduling any midday activities and would arrange for babysitters whenever necessary. Bedtime remained sacrosanct, with no exceptions allowed.
Traveling with our kids has also become a complex decision. The prospect of a family trip is always weighed against the likelihood of car sickness and the subsequent clean-up. We consider factors like hotel costs and restless nights. My younger son has a tendency to wake us with piercing screams, leading to sleepless nights for everyone. This often results in us opting out of family visits or declining invitations to events that coincide with our evening routine.
Our choices have led to some criticism from friends and family. We often turn down invitations for 6 p.m. parties because it interferes with dinner and bedtime. Our travel plans revolve around our children’s sleep schedule, leading to fewer trips than we would like. When we do travel, we prefer to stay put for extended periods, essentially creating a second home to maintain our routines without disruption.
I sometimes feel a pang of regret as I write this. I realize I may come across as unadventurous and dull. I used to love spontaneous trips, like weekend getaways to Europe or road trips with friends. But life is about choices, and right now, I opt for well-rested kids over spontaneity. A dear friend of mine, whose children are older, reassured me that flexibility will come. “You’ll be able to travel without the hassle of strollers and sippy cups soon,” she said.
So, I’m holding onto the hope that one day I’ll be able to embrace adventure again. Traveling to Paris with my now 5 and 8-year-old? Absolutely—if I can snag a last-minute deal! For those considering similar parenting choices, you might find insights in other posts like this one about home insemination. Additionally, if you’re exploring parenting topics, this resource provides valuable information on parallel play, an important aspect of child development. For further information on fertility options, check out this excellent resource dedicated to IVF.
In summary, being a structured parent has its challenges and rewards. While I may seem rigid, I recognize the importance of routines for my children’s well-being. The hope for future flexibility keeps me motivated as I navigate this journey.