Parenting Insights
By: Tasha Williams
Updated: Jan. 5, 2023
Originally Published: Sep. 18, 2015
At some point, I completely gave up on shopping for myself. I found myself wearing bras with actual holes and underwear that, if it were a student, would be in first grade. My closet had turned into a graveyard of once-chic clothing—some pieces dated back to the Clinton administration. I was left with items I had no reason to wear and a jumble of clothes that looked like they survived a food fight.
As my kids kept growing, I channeled all my clothing budget into their wardrobes. I lived through them, thinking that if they looked great, it somehow reflected well on me. Surely, people would think, “This mom may look a bit disheveled, but her stylish kids show she’s got it together!”
However, I had a wake-up call last week. My daughter’s preschool was hosting a ribbon-cutting ceremony for their new building, and parents were invited alongside faculty, board members, and local officials. I intended to sneak in just before the festivities began, but of course, I arrived late, right as the honored guests gathered.
I spotted another mom dressed casually, but I felt too embarrassed to approach the entrance. Clad in a long-sleeve red-and-orange striped shirt, black jeans, and Converse, I felt like I had just walked off the set of a 70s children’s show. Instead, I parked my car a distance away, waiting for the event to conclude so I could leave with my daughter unnoticed.
This had to change.
The next day, I decided to treat myself and visited Marshall’s for some new tops and sweaters. While waiting in line, I noticed several displays filled with tempting kid items. “Look at those cute barrettes for my daughter! More socks for my son!” my mind began to race. But then I paused and thought, “What am I doing?” Why was I unable to leave a store without buying something for myself?
After all, I was already planning grocery runs to ensure my little ones had their favorite meals. Did I really need to add more items to their collection that would likely end up lost or discarded? Absolutely not.
As I walked past a display of frilly headbands, I declared to myself, “I am not buying my children another thing.” I left the display and stood in line, feeling empowered. “They have more than enough, and I deserve something too!”
A woman behind me echoed my sentiment, saying, “You’re right! I was going to buy something for my girls, but they have plenty.” I felt a surge of pride for inspiring another mom to prioritize herself for once. I knew that a little less stuff for my kids wouldn’t create resentment about my own lack of self-care. It was a small but vital step toward reclaiming my identity.
Ultimately, I realized I mattered. I deserved to treat myself without guilt, and purchasing endless items for my children didn’t make me a better mother.
In conclusion, it’s crucial to recognize that self-care isn’t selfish. Taking care of yourself allows you to be the best parent you can be. For more insights into motherhood and fertility, check out this resource on fertility insurance or learn more about boosting fertility. Additionally, if you’re curious about baby health, this guide provides useful information on café-au-lait spots.