Updated: September 25, 2015
Originally Published: September 18, 2015
On a recent Friday night, two children were brought into our home after being removed from theirs. It was a significant moment for them—their first night apart from their mother.
The 5-year-old, Jamie, broke into tears as the caseworker guided him through our front door. For the next hour and a half, his cries filled the air, echoing his heartwrenching plea, “I don’t want to be here. I want to be with my mommy.” His older brother, Lucas, stood by his side, tears streaming silently down his face.
In an attempt to soothe them, the caseworker called their mother on speakerphone, but the call offered no comfort. Tissues soon littered the floor as they tried to wipe away their tears. There was no quick fix to ease their pain, and eventually, the caseworker needed to leave, acutely aware that little Jamie wouldn’t settle until she was gone.
In a desperate effort to distract them, we offered a movie and some ice cream. Their half-eaten bowls were proof of our feeble attempts, though, thankfully, the cries began to subside. We all huddled together in the living room, where the familiar sounds of the television provided some sense of normalcy for the boys.
During the night, both boys woke up, gently nudging my husband, bewildered by their new surroundings. The next day was filled with joy—trampoline jumping, basketball, and park outings. However, a sudden reminder struck the younger boy. He realized he wouldn’t be going home that night, nor did he know when he would return. The screams erupted again: “I don’t want to be here. I want to be with my mommy.”
It’s heartbreaking to witness a child yearning for their mother, seeking reassurance about when they would be reunited. Unfortunately, we had no answers. The nature of foster care often leaves us without them. No amount of empathetic nods or bowls of ice cream can truly alleviate their pain, nor ours.
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In summary, the emotional turmoil of being separated from parents can be overwhelming for children in foster care. Their longing for familiarity and love is palpable, and as caregivers, our ability to support them is often limited. We must acknowledge their pain, even when we cannot offer the answers they seek.