As a parent, I strive for honesty with my children, encouraging open dialogue about serious topics like death and using correct anatomical terms. While I value transparency, there are moments when I find myself embracing a little deception. Here are some of those instances:
My All-Seeing Eye
I’m not truly omniscient, but my kids have yet to catch on. Just the other day, I was out during breakfast, yet somehow I figured out my son had yogurt for breakfast and then decided to wear the empty cup as a hat. When I asked him about it later, he hesitated for a moment but then admitted to it. Trust me, little ones, I have eyes everywhere, so don’t even think about hiding the cat in the pantry.
Where Did It Go?
When my kids ask me where their toys are, I often say I don’t know. In reality, I can pinpoint the location of everything they’ve ever touched. While I occasionally forget the name of a simple item like a “wagon,” I can tell you precisely where that Lego figure’s arm is after it was lost three weeks ago. So, no, I don’t know where that birthday guitar is. (Yes, I do. It’s tucked away in the basement.)
Bedtime Rules
We kick off our bedtime routine at 7 p.m. However, this can shift to 6:45 p.m., 6, or any time I deem necessary based on how tired the kids are, how many tantrums they’ve thrown, and how much I need a breather. So, bedtime is “7 p.m.” when it suits me.
The Dangers of Smoking
While smoking is harmful, I may have exaggerated its effects a bit. After encountering a man with a laryngectomy, I decided to instill a sense of fear about smoking in my kids: “Did you hear that man’s voice? He lost his throat to cigarettes.” This sparked a cascade of questions, ultimately leading to the conclusion that smoking will make you smell bad, change your clothes’ colors, and could even cost you your life. I had to dial this back, though, after my daughter started confronting innocent bystanders about their smoking habits. Bad choices, not bad people.
We’re Out of That
When faced with the prospect of sugar-fueled arguments, sometimes it’s easier to claim that we’ve run out of maple syrup rather than face the morning chaos.
A Great Help
I want my kids to participate in cleaning and cooking, even if their efforts often lead to chaos. When they “organize” things by tossing them into a box, it panics me, and watching them mix ingredients gives me anxiety. But I always tell them they’ve been a huge help, hoping that they’ll improve over time.
A Quick Break
Sometimes I genuinely need to use the restroom; other times, I just need a moment to scroll through my phone in peace.
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In summary, while honesty is essential in parenting, a few harmless lies can make the daily chaos a bit more manageable. Just remember, every parent has their secrets!