This year, the excitement of back-to-school season faded remarkably quickly. Despite the allure of shiny new school supplies and freshly pressed uniforms, a gloomy atmosphere settled over our home almost immediately. Thirteen days into the school year, and I’m already counting down the days until Thanksgiving—74 days, if anyone is keeping track. By day eight, I had exhausted my lunch ideas. By day ten, we had overslept. By day twelve, I jokingly suggested homeschooling just so we could enjoy a little extra sleep. My kids responded with blank stares, and that plan was quickly abandoned.
As I sat in the pick-up line on day thirteen, I reminisced about our summer days characterized by lazy mornings, spontaneous beach trips, and s’mores on the patio. I couldn’t help but miss the sand that once littered my car’s floor mats. I envisioned a washing machine overflowing with swimsuits and rash guards, rather than polo shirts emblazoned with the school crest.
Then, the car doors swung open, and my children jumped in, immediately launching into a nonstop argument that filled the entire 20-minute ride home. It became painfully clear that my dream of a serene summer was merely that— a dream. By week four of summer, I had tearfully called my husband, offering to sell my own blood for camp tuition just to regain some peace. If arguing over trivial matters were an Olympic event, my kids would undoubtedly take home the gold.
Here’s a list of 29 ridiculous things my children argue about on a regular basis:
- Which juice glass is more appealing
- Debates on whether they argue too much
- Who is “out” in games of Gaga, butts-up handball, or Nerf Wars
- The identity of the sock lying on the floor
- Any opinion-based topic
- Any fact-based topic
- Who greeted the neighbor first
- The arrival time of Grandma and Grandpa
- The actual arrival time of Grandma and Grandpa
- Who hugged Grandma and Grandpa first
- The proper method for emptying the dishwasher (spoiler: neither of them are skilled at it)
- Who gets to scoop dog poop
- Who last fed the dog
- The size of each other’s tortoises
- Who gets the last of a snack
- Who gets the first of a snack
- What we had for dinner the previous night
- The order of sunscreen application at the beach
- Whether the latest Maroon 5 song is overplayed
- The fastest route to school
- Who initiated the argument
- Who gets to use the treadmill versus the elliptical in the garage (because sharing is not an option)
- Who unlocks the car door first
- Who unlocks the front door first
- Who neglected to close the car door
- Who neglected to close the front door
- Slurpee or McFlurry: the eternal debate
- Who greeted Dad at the door first
- Who greeted Dad at the door first yesterday
As I reflect on these disputes, I can’t help but feel that the 74 days until Thanksgiving are going to drag on, and packing lunches has never felt like such a daunting task.
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In summary, while parenting can often feel overwhelming due to the endless squabbles over trivial matters, it also brings moments of reflection and laughter. Embracing the chaos is part of the journey.