By: Jessica Ray
Being a parent transcends the mundane tasks of managing spills and diaper changes—it’s a monumental journey of trial and error, unlike anything else in existence. When something clicks with your child, you ride that wave of success, celebrating like a mad scientist who just discovered a new formula. Yet, just as quickly, the tides turn, and what worked flawlessly for a moment becomes obsolete. You find yourself in front of a mirror, realizing you’re pulling a wild face, reminiscent of Einstein during a breakthrough, but still, a voice in your head whispers, “It worked!”
But then you have another child. You think, “I’ve got this!” Armed with the wisdom of experience, you feel like a parenting pro. Yet, the universe has other plans, and you quickly learn that nothing from your first child applies. It’s like trying to reinvent the wheel.
This is my current reality.
When my eldest son mastered potty training, he took it in stride. I taught him to wipe, and while he had that part down, his execution left much to be desired. Laundry days turned into a chore of extra scrubbing as I silently dealt with the aftermath. Admitting defeat and offering help was not an option, so I resorted to occasional refresher courses on proper wiping technique.
Clearly, this strategy fell short. I’m not oblivious; when something isn’t effective, you adapt.
Enter my second child. I resolved to take a different route—wiping for him until he felt confident. It seemed harmless enough; after all, I’d been doing it since day one. But here I am, two years later, still on butt-wiping duty. And I’ve had enough.
You might wonder, “What about school?” He simply doesn’t poop there. It’s been nearly three years since he’s had a bowel movement away from home. I left town for a weekend last spring, and he held it until I returned. No joke.
At last, we had the conversation.
Me: “Hey buddy, how about giving wiping a try?”
Him: “No.”
Me: “It’s really easy. I can show you.”
Him: “No.”
Time for a new approach.
Me: “Don’t you want to be a big boy and wipe your own butt?”
Him: “No.”
Me: “But wouldn’t you love the freedom to go whenever you want?”
Him: “No.”
It was clear this passive approach wasn’t working. I felt my patience wearing thin.
Me: “Listen, I’m done wiping your butt.”
Him: “No.”
Me: “Seriously. You’re in pre-kindergarten now. It’s time to learn this.”
Him: “No.”
So there it is—I’ve reached my limit, and guess what? He hasn’t gone for three days. This is turning out to be exactly what I needed.
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Summary
Parenting is an ongoing journey of learning and adapting, especially when it comes to potty training and independence. Each child presents unique challenges that require new strategies. The experience often involves a mix of frustration and determination, culminating in a quest for solutions that truly work.