“Just don’t be one of those moms who dumps her kids at the sitter’s just to hit the gym or have some alone time.” Those were the last words from a prospective babysitter for my two sons. She was an experienced caregiver, claiming to have raised countless kids and boasting her own children and grandchildren as credentials. Her home was spotless and smelled of a sumptuous roast. I was ready to hire her until she decided to share her unsolicited advice.
Like many new parents, I was inundated with rules, tips, and unhelpful opinions the moment I announced my pregnancy. I typically brushed off most comments with a polite smile or a simple “thanks, I hadn’t considered that.” However, I refuse to apologize for my belief in making time for myself.
I’m the mom who sends my toddler to daycare part-time so that I can enjoy some quiet moments with the baby. Yes, he loves it, and yes, it’s beneficial for his growth, but honestly, I do it because I need a breather.
I’m the mom who leaves the kids at Grandma’s house to attend a concert. If I claimed I only go when my favorite band is playing, that would be a lie. Sometimes, I go to see an act I’ve never even heard of—just to escape the house by myself.
I’m the mom who sneaks out on Saturdays to grab coffee with friends. Those coffee catch-ups often turn into long lunches filled with laughter, leading to late returns home. Sure, I could say it’s a chance for the kids to bond with their dad, and it is, but truthfully, I just want to enjoy a meal and some adult conversation.
I’m the mom who drops off the kids at the neighbors’ to run a few errands. And by “errands,” I mean a massage and an eyebrow wax. I know the baby might be crying and the toddler could be throwing a fit, but honestly, I need to take care of myself.
I’m also the mom who books a reservation at an overly fancy restaurant for a Friday night date with my husband. I’m aware the kids might be munching on junk food and binge-watching movies with our teen babysitter. They might stay up way past their bedtime, but I’m not going to pretend I’m concerned.
So, to that babysitter who warned me not to become one of “those” moms—too late, I already am. I drop my kids off at the sitter’s to go for a run after work or even just to hang out with my colleagues for a bit. I intentionally carve out time for myself because if I don’t, who will?
These moments away from my children create necessary space. They remind me that while I am connected to them, we are also individuals who need time apart to foster our independence—both theirs and mine. It reinforces the idea that I have needs that deserve to be met; I am significant, too. And I won’t apologize for putting myself first in my own life.
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In summary, prioritizing your own well-being as a parent is essential. Making time for yourself is not just acceptable—it’s necessary. Embrace those moments, and remember, you are just as important as your children.