Yesterday, I reached out to my 21-year-old daughter, Emily, who is spending her summer at college while juggling an internship she diligently secured. “I’m so thrilled for you!” I typed, hoping to convey my enthusiasm through the screen. “Why?” she replied, curious about my excitement.
It’s a valid question. I attempted to articulate my feelings. She is on the brink of an exhilarating phase of her life. At 21, she’s preparing to graduate as a senior—a milestone that is just around the corner. She’s busy mapping out her future. Next week, she’ll be taking the GREs, narrowing down her options for graduate schools, and contemplating potential cities and career paths.
From my perspective as a 47-year-old navigating the semi-empty nest life in the suburbs, it sounds glamorous. But I can only imagine how it feels for her. To Emily, it might appear daunting—perhaps even overwhelmingly so. The significance of our 20s often doesn’t hit us until we’re well into our 40s. When I was in my twenties, life felt far from thrilling. I graduated college, jumped into a job shortly thereafter, and though I was fortunate to find work in my field, I despised it and left within a year. That same year, I met and married my husband.
During my twenties, I had two children, purchased a house, and acquired a minivan. I transitioned from being a full-time employee to a full-time stay-at-home mom. It was a transformative decade, yet I failed to truly appreciate it at the time. I want Emily to recognize the significance of this period. She stands on the edge of a vast landscape she has crafted—one that can propel her forward or send her in unexpected directions. She can travel, pursue a career, or attend graduate school. The world is her oyster, and she can choose to live in any city that calls to her.
However, she will also encounter challenges. Financial independence will mean no more parental support. The safety net of college will fade, and she’ll be competing for jobs with countless qualified candidates. There will be long hours, office politics, and the possibility of job loss when she least expects it.
She’ll confront the harsh reality of student loans and may have to cling to her old car longer than anticipated. There could be love—followed by heartbreak, and then perhaps love again—before she finds the right person. And if she does settle down, she’ll have to navigate the complexities of in-laws and family obligations.
Alternatively, she may find herself watching friends pair off while she remains a bridesmaid, never a bride. She might save for her first home, only to face unexpected expenses like replacing a furnace or a roof at inconvenient times.
Yet, I want her to focus on the myriad of wonderful experiences ahead: the potential for graduate school, a new city, and a fulfilling career. The excitement of falling in love, possibly for a lifetime. The joys of homeownership and the deep friendships she will forge in her twenties that will last a lifetime. The thrill of making her own choices, tackling challenges head-on, and enjoying life’s little pleasures—a Sunday brunch at her favorite café, a captivating movie, or a weekend getaway. Recognition from her boss for a job well done could lead to promotions and raises.
I often reflect on why I didn’t realize the impact of my twenties while I was living through them. Every decision I made then has echoed throughout my life—26 years later, the choices I made in my twenties still shape my present. I want to tell Emily to embrace this decade wholeheartedly. Don’t shy away from it; be aware and above all, have fun.
In this journey of self-discovery and growth, our blog offers guidance for those navigating similar paths. For those interested in starting a family, check out our post on home insemination kits and the expertise of gynecological care providers. For further insights on fertility, Science Daily is an excellent resource.
In summary, as my daughter embarks on her twenties, I reflect on the significance of this transformative decade. It’s a time filled with choices, challenges, and opportunities that shape the future. Embrace it, and remember to enjoy every moment.