My son is blissfully unaware of his racial identity. He recognizes that he has darker skin compared to me, his mother, who has a lighter complexion, and that his father is white. However, he remains oblivious to the complex history and prejudice tied to his skin color in this nation. Concepts such as the slave trade, Jim Crow laws, the Emancipation Proclamation, and the Civil Rights Movement—complete with its riots and iconic speeches—are foreign to him. He has not yet grasped the significance of events in places like Ferguson, McKinney, Cleveland, or Sanford, nor does he understand the meaning behind the phrase “black lives matter.” The idea that people can be treated differently solely based on the color of their skin is beyond his current comprehension.
Though my son does not yet know the painful history that has impacted the African American community in the United States, that knowledge will inevitably come. It won’t be long before he realizes he is different from his parents and understands that he is, in fact, black. Once he enters grade school, he will learn about black history every February. He will discover that the freedoms we enjoy today were not always a given, and our family’s diverse backgrounds are a testament to the progress we’ve made in liberty and justice.
As he uncovers the struggles of the past, he will also learn about the remarkable achievements of those who chose to lead extraordinary lives. He will hear stories of resilience and bravery, from figures like Harriet Tubman and Rosa Parks to leaders such as Martin Luther King Jr. and trailblazers like Jackie Robinson. He will learn about the laws that have been enacted, the milestones reached, and the freedoms we now recognize. While he will see how far our country has come, he will also understand that the journey toward racial equality is ongoing.
Though my son may not yet realize he is black, that awareness will dawn on him in due time. For now, he finds joy in using a variety of crayons to color the skin of his loved ones, seeing love and trust as qualities that transcend color—attributes earned rather than assigned. Even at the tender age of four, he grasps that love and trust are foundational to relationships, essential for nurturing forgiveness and unity. Such qualities can extinguish the flames of hatred and fear, fostering strength where division and discrimination once prevailed. Love has the power to heal.
This piece was originally shared on September 2, 2015.
For more on navigating parenthood and relationships, check out our other blog post about the at-home insemination kit. If you’re looking for insights into mental well-being during this journey, this resource offers valuable information. Also, for those considering pregnancy options, this resource on intrauterine insemination is incredibly helpful.
Summary
This article explores a mother’s reflections on her son’s unawareness of his racial identity and the inevitable journey he will take to understand it. She emphasizes the importance of love and trust in relationships and the significance of learning about the painful history of the African American community alongside its achievements.