Parenting is a journey filled with unique challenges, and I certainly find myself navigating this path in my own way. Unlike the mom who spends hours on the floor playing with dolls or building elaborate structures in video games, I’m not that mom. I’ve never picked up a Pokémon game, and I don’t plan to start now. I recognize that this is one area where I may not measure up in the eyes of traditional parenting standards.
I’m grateful for my partner, who thrives in the world of cartoons and gaming. Watching him toss a football with our kids in the yard brings a smile to my face. (Inside the house? Absolutely not!) Their laughter during wrestling matches and tickle fights is a beautiful sound that fills our home with joy.
I remember being a young, anxious mother-to-be, fiercely determined to welcome my children into this world with all the love I could muster. As a single parent of two, I worked tirelessly but still managed to create moments of joy, like spontaneous dance parties where we sang our hearts out. Before my little ones even arrived, I indulged in cherry cheesecake, not only for the deliciousness but also to relish the thought of dancing alongside them someday.
From the moment I laid eyes on my first child, I understood that my heart would forever belong to them. Each subsequent birth expanded my love, making space for more precious souls. As a new mom, I often found myself sleepless, captivated by the sight of my tiny baby nestled against my chest. Even now, when I see them asleep, I’m reminded of those days in footie pajamas, their wispy hair framing their faces.
I was the mom who spent sleepless nights rocking you, soothing you through cries with gentle shushing. I worried over every bruise and kissed away each scraped knee. I invested countless hours in doctor visits for broken bones or cuts. I was the mom who wrapped her arms around you tightly during preschool tours and returned to school myself to ensure I could be present for you.
I am the mom who signs school forms, manages homework, and packs lunches. I make appointments for doctor visits and parent-teacher conferences, often wearing thrift store finds so you can have the latest styles at school, apparently crafted by famous athletes.
I’m the mom who cracks silly jokes, sings off-key, and embraces my inner goofball just to make you smile. Those smiles are worth more to me than anything else in this world. My love for you is immeasurable, and I strive to demonstrate that love every day.
Yet, I often feel like I’m falling short. I battle chronic depression, anxiety, and PTSD, alongside persistent migraines and pain. My medical visits outnumber my outings for haircuts, and I can’t recall the last time I treated myself to a stylist when I have to prioritize your needs.
Every day, I grapple with the tasks necessary for your “normal” life. I do your laundry, even if it means I have to rest to sort it. I ensure bills are paid so you have the comforts of home. I clip your nails, buy toothpaste, and remind you to practice good hygiene.
But I also forget things. Not the significant moments like birthdays, though I may sometimes slip with the Tooth Fairy’s notes. I forget the smaller details, like your triumphant video game stats from yesterday. However, I can still sense when something’s wrong with you, and I genuinely listen to your feelings, whether you’re upset or excited.
I am the mom who wants to slay your dragons and protect you fiercely. Yet, I sometimes feel too drained to cook a proper dinner, leading to meals of macaroni and pizza rolls. Laundry piles up, and I can become easily overwhelmed and need to retreat when life feels like too much. I’m the mom who sheds tears in the bathroom when I feel like I’ve let you down.
I often lie awake at night, consumed by worries about you. I wish I could bottle up every hug and “I love you” to give back on days when there are more slammed doors than affection. You are the reason I strive to be better every day, even when I fall short of the ideal parent.
In summary, while I may not fit the mold of the quintessential mom, my love for my children is boundless. I’m navigating my challenges, striving to provide the life they deserve, and cherishing every moment we share.
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