As of yesterday, I’ve celebrated 16 wonderful years with my husband, Cheddar (his affectionate nickname, ha!). We’re genuinely happy together, and I want to share insights into our marriage that might help others navigating their relationships. It’s not about being self-righteous; instead, it’s about understanding what a fulfilling partnership doesn’t include.
Having observed various relationships over time, I’ve pinpointed behaviors that can lead to issues in marriage. Here’s a look at what Cheddar and I consciously choose not to do:
- We don’t assign blame. When life gets chaotic—be it due to household messes, children’s behavior, or financial stress—it’s tempting to point fingers. However, we recognize that we’re a team, and shifting blame only creates distance. We prefer to tackle challenges together.
- We avoid mind games. We communicate openly and honestly, expressing our thoughts directly. There’s no need for manipulation or passive-aggressive behavior. I’ve seen couples engage in exhausting mind games, and we prefer a straightforward approach—always with kindness.
- We don’t read between the lines. Our transparent communication means we don’t have to guess each other’s feelings. Early on, we learned the importance of clarifying any uncertainties. If we’re unsure, we simply ask rather than assume motives.
- We don’t hold onto grudges. Neither of us is inclined to nurse grievances. When something bothers us, we talk it out and move on. Holding grudges is counterproductive and only leads to resentment.
- We don’t criticize each other to outsiders. Venting about your spouse to friends can harm your relationship. While it’s fine to seek support, we refrain from airing grievances that could undermine our bond.
- We don’t share every thought. We believe in discernment; not every thought needs to be voiced. I avoid sharing things that might cause unnecessary worry for Cheddar, and I know he does the same. It’s healthy to maintain some personal space.
- We don’t indulge in jealousy. Cheddar admires certain celebrities, and I have my own crushes. We trust each other completely, allowing openness without insecurity. Jealousy stems from doubt, and we have no reason to feel that way.
- We don’t expect each other to fulfill every need. While we support each other, we understand the importance of outside friendships and personal time. Relying on one person for everything is unrealistic and can lead to disappointment.
- We don’t allow life or kids to overshadow our marriage. This can be challenging, especially with small children. Yet, we prioritize our relationship, checking in with one another to ensure we stay connected and aligned.
- We don’t downplay or exaggerate physical intimacy. It’s crucial, but we maintain a balanced perspective on its role in our marriage.
- We don’t overlook each other’s love languages. Understanding how we each prefer to express love—whether through acts of service or physical touch—allows us to nurture our bond effectively. This knowledge empowers us to cater to each other’s needs meaningfully.
- We don’t take each other for granted. I appreciate Cheddar’s efforts as a partner and father, just as he acknowledges my work at home. Expressing gratitude reinforces our partnership.
- We don’t dwell on flaws. We recognize that neither of us is perfect, but we focus on the positive aspects of each other instead of fixating on imperfections.
- We don’t engage in fighting. We may have disagreements or bicker, but we’ve never had a full-blown fight. Our disagreements are handled calmly and respectfully. If we ever reach that point, it would indicate deeper issues.
- We don’t take ourselves too seriously. A sense of humor is vital to our relationship. We share laughs over silly moments, movie quotes, and lighthearted teasing, which keeps our connection strong.
- We don’t believe marriage should be a struggle, nor do we consider separation an option. While marriage isn’t always easy, it should be a source of joy and support. If challenges arise, we’re committed to seeking help together rather than giving up.
We’re not perfect, but our relationship is pretty fantastic. Here’s to another 16 years and beyond! For those interested in enhancing fertility, check out this article. If you’re curious about costs related to IVF, this source provides valuable insights. Additionally, for more information on pregnancy and home insemination, this Wikipedia page is an excellent resource.
Summary
This article discusses 16 actions that Cheddar and I consciously avoid to maintain a happy marriage, focusing on communication, trust, and appreciation. By steering clear of negativity and prioritizing our relationship, we’ve enjoyed a fulfilling partnership for 16 years and look forward to many more.