You anticipated that life would shift dramatically when you welcomed children, but you promised yourself that you wouldn’t let parenthood alter your social habits or leisure activities. Yet, as it turns out, reality is quite different. Here are 14 ways your social life is forever altered once you have kids.
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In the initial weeks, a craving for adult conversation will drive you to buy a second-hand baby carrier from a stranger. After handing over the cash, you’ll find yourself wishing she invites you in for a chat over coffee.
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As you recline on the couch with a newborn dozing on your chest, you’ll ponder, “Which friends are awake at 3:40 a.m. and might want to text?” That person will become your closest confidant for the next few years.
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Your evenings of dining out with friends will shift to early mornings spent exploring pastry shops that open at 7 a.m.
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You’ll often wonder, “Why aren’t there more daytime parties?”
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When child-free friends rave about a new trendy bar with a renowned mixologist, you’ll jokingly declare, “I invented a cocktail! It’s called the Ferber! Just milk and a Xanax! Haha!” Your friends may slowly back away, unsure how to respond.
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Instead of dancing until dawn and enjoying the sunrise while wrapped in a romantic moment, you’ll find yourself yelling at your partner, “It’s YOUR TURN! I refuse to wake up to wake you up!” as you comb through your disheveled hair.
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“Pre-gaming” will become your glass of wine to survive another round of Chutes and Ladders.
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A “hook up” now refers to waiting for a delivery person to arrive sometime between 8 a.m. and 11 p.m. When he shows up at 10:59 p.m., you’re torn between irritation and fascination with his stories about the outside world.
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Conversations with friends will shift from analyzing relationships to discussing the minutiae of parenting: “If she wakes up at 5:40 instead of 6, should I adjust the morning nap by 20 minutes?” Your friends may look perplexed, but they’ve always known you to be a bit intense.
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Your expectations for friendships will fluctuate; you won’t drive an hour for coffee with an acquaintance, but you’ll gladly spend time with a friend who’s a bit difficult but also parenting a toddler, simply because you need that companionship during “commando” potty training.
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Late nights will make you feel like a startled animal; as 9 p.m. approaches, you’ll become anxious, knowing a late night will lead to a tough morning.
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Your social life will transition from gathering with friends you enjoy to spending time with people you like who also embrace a similar parenting style—those who don’t engage in lengthy discussions about toddler conflict resolution.
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You’ll forge some incredible friendships—an unexpected perk of motherhood—connecting with fellow parents who provide support and humor.
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Surprisingly, your social circle will expand through small interactions, from casual chats at the grocery store to quick exchanges with other parents during school drop-offs and pick-ups.
Indeed, your days may begin and end earlier than before, and socializing often occurs while pushing a stroller or changing a diaper. However, in many ways, your social life becomes richer and more fulfilling; you had friends in the past, but now you have a community.
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Summary
: Your social life undergoes significant changes after having kids, from late-night outings to early morning pastry hunts. While your interactions may shift, the connections you make with other parents and the community you build offer a newfound richness.