Parenting Insights by Sarah Thompson
Updated: Aug. 5, 2016
Originally Published: Aug. 24, 2015
Whenever a commercial for some bizarre toy pops up on the screen, my kids lose it. They shout for me to come and witness this “incredible” product, and I’m forced to drop what I’m doing to indulge them. After a mere five seconds of viewing, they transition into full-on sales mode, pleading for me to buy it like they’re auditioning for a role in Oliver Twist, presenting their well-rehearsed arguments on why it’s the best thing ever.
This daily ordeal is exacerbated by the discovery that our local Walmart has an entire section dedicated to these absurd products. So, there I am, trying to grab essentials like a laundry basket and some chicken, only to be inundated with requests for items like SpongeBob Chia Pets. The “As Seen on TV” onslaught is relentless.
Here are a few of my “favorite” items from the As Seen on TV catalog and my reasons for steering clear of them:
Squishy Sand
This product claims to be non-sticky, ideal for indoor play. However, I’ve fought the battle against Moon Sand, which also made the same promise. Its particles embed themselves in carpets and harden over time, creating a mini disaster zone. Plus, my kids might just use it as ammunition to see if it stings when thrown into each other’s faces. No thanks!
Juggle Bubbles
Marketed as an unbreakable bubble solution, the catch is that you must purchase special gloves for each child. What happens when bubbles land on anything other than the gloves? Do they explode in a cloud of chemical-smelling goo? Sounds like a hard pass. My kids need to preserve as many brain cells as possible, thank you very much.
Party in the Tub Light
Turning off the bathroom lights for a “party” during bath time? That’s just asking for trouble. Wet floor + no lights = potential injury for this mama. While the infomercial claims it will make kids excited to bathe, I have no intention of transforming our bathroom into a nightclub. I can just imagine the ridiculous playlist they’d want.
Hamper Hoops
This clever concept suggests that my children will aim their dirty clothes into a basketball hoop mounted on their closet door. Spoiler alert: they won’t. Instead, I can already picture clothes strewn everywhere while also using it to stash forbidden candy wrappers. Plus, the potential for injury from their “slam dunks” is not a risk I’m willing to take.
Tummy Stuffers
This stuffed animal is designed to encourage kids to clean up by stuffing everything inside. First off, they should learn to put things in their proper places, not into a plush toy. And let’s not even discuss the potential for my youngest’s Pull-Ups ending up in there—yikes!
The marketers of these products are truly savvy, turning kids into relentless salespeople. It’s akin to having a high-pressure salesman lurking in your home, ready to pounce at any moment. These commercials fuel parental frustration, leading to impulsive buys in moments of weakness. If I ever cave in and order something from the “As Seen on TV” lineup, I hope it’s something worthwhile, like a Channing Tatum dance lessons DVD and not the Tummy Stuffer.
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Summary:
Navigating the world of “As Seen on TV” products can be overwhelming for parents, particularly when kids get swept up in the hype. From questionable toys like Squishy Sand to impractical items like Tummy Stuffers, these products often promise more than they deliver. It’s crucial to maintain a discerning eye amidst the chaos and prioritize what truly benefits our families.