Today marked the start of 2nd grade for my eldest son, Oliver. I was awake by 5:30 a.m., well before my alarm was set to ring, unable to drift back to sleep as excitement coursed through me like it was Christmas morning.
I went all out for his first day, making pancakes from an instant mix that just needed water. I made sure to wear a bra, just in case any neighbors caught a glimpse of me vigorously shaking that bottle of batter. I laid out Oliver’s navy uniform shorts, trying to ignore the lint that covered them—the result of washing them with new towels—and ensured that his sneakers were double-knotted.
We missed the bus, but I reassured him that we had plenty of time to navigate the carpool line. I gathered his siblings, still in their pajamas, and loaded them into our trusty, albeit worn, van. (Oliver has been adamant for months about wanting to be an “asteroidal physicist.” He used to say he wanted to be a regular scientist, but his ambition has clearly evolved. I even found myself Googling “asteroidal physicist” before my morning coffee—what a challenge!)
As we approached the long line of cars at the school, I wanted to share a meaningful moment with Oliver. You know the kind—when you and your child connect, and they momentarily grasp the depth of your love, making you feel like you’re nailing this parenting thing until you find yourself shouting “DON’T SMUDGE YOUR FINGERS ON THE WALL!” for the umpteenth time.
I turned around to face him, my eyes misty with pride. “Oliver, I’m so proud of you! I hope your day is amazing. Your siblings are really going to miss you tod—”
At that very moment, the teacher overseeing carpool opened our van door, and Oliver yelled at the top of his lungs, “SEE YA, SUCKAS!!!” as he jumped out. The teacher stood frozen for a beat, and I turned to her with a smile, calling out, “HAVE A FANTASTIC DAY!” as if such an exuberant farewell was our family’s norm. Her expression remained unchanged as she closed the door.
I’ve concluded that the next time I drop my kids off, I’ll kiss them goodbye and, as they wave cheerfully, I will roll down the window of our old van and shout “SEE YA, SUCKAS!!!!” as I speed away. Because this is how we roll, SUCKAS.
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In summary, navigating the first day of school can bring unexpected and humorous moments. Embracing these experiences with a sense of humor can make the journey of parenting all the more enjoyable.