Never Trust an Easy Baby

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Meet your firstborn, a delightful little one who beams with joy and possesses an easygoing nature. His caregivers at daycare describe him as “laid-back,” and he only drools when teething, hardly ever spitting up. By the time he’s four months old, he sleeps a solid 7-8 hours through the night. During family gatherings, he’s passed around without a hint of separation anxiety. On the rare occasions he cries, a bottle or a cuddle quickly soothes him, or a little fresh air does the trick.

While you navigate the early challenges of parenthood, you feel like you’ve hit the jackpot with this easy baby. However, be warned—this little one is a “trick baby.”

Yes, trick babies can be deceivingly dangerous. Their smooth temperament can lead you to believe that parenting is a breeze. You might find yourself scrolling through sleep-training articles you once saved, feeling a sense of pride for having figured it all out on your own. You’re a natural! Almost guilt washes over you when your exhausted friend, who struggles with a fussy newborn, inquires about your baby’s sleep patterns or if he cries incessantly unless held. But your child doesn’t fit that mold—after all, he’s a trick baby.

This little cherub will mislead you into thinking that parenthood is straightforward. You’ll gaze adoringly at him as he sleeps peacefully, gently stroking his back before retreating to your own bed, enjoying blissful slumber. You might even convince yourself that your genetics are superior, attributing your easy baby to some evolutionary advantage. But remember, this is all a clever ruse.

Your trick baby will make you believe that all infants are like him. When you attempt to share your experiences with fellow moms, you might stumble over awkward comparisons. “He’s teething, and it took him almost 15 minutes to fall asleep last night.” Deep down, you know that what you’re saying is far from relatable, but what can you do? You only know the life of a trick baby.

The most significant deception of all? This perfect little being may convince you to have another baby soon. Why not? It seems logical when you have such an effortlessly easy child.

But don’t be fooled. While you enjoy every moment with your trick baby, remember that he’s an exception, not the rule. Your subsequent children may not share his traits and could very well exhibit typical behaviors like colic, sleep resistance, and clinginess.

If you’re not careful, you might find yourself parenting two toddlers born within 18 months of each other—one of whom screams at the slightest inconvenience and spills everything in sight. This scenario is in your trick baby’s best interest; while you’re tending to a newborn, he’ll be mastering the art of walking.

Trick babies know how to exploit your good judgment early on. By the time they’re mobile and filled with curiosity, you may find yourself too exhausted to keep up. Don’t expect sympathy from other parents, especially those battling sleepless nights with their own children. Since your trick baby sleeps soundly, you can’t even blame fatigue for your poor decisions. When your second child arrives, you’ll be too drained to consider blame at all. You’ll be a walking zombie, with your new baby clinging to you while trick baby attempts to scale furniture.

That’s the curse of having a trick baby. He may seem perfect, but be warned—this experience is not the norm.

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Summary:

Having a trick baby can be a double-edged sword. Their easygoing nature may lead you to believe that parenting is a walk in the park, ultimately tricking you into thinking you should have more children. However, remember that trick babies are anomalies, and future children may not be as easy to manage. Enjoy your time with this perfect little being, but remain aware of the potential challenges that lie ahead.