Experienced parents often feel compelled to share their wisdom with new moms and dads. While their intentions are generally positive, the advice they dispense can sometimes fall flat, especially for those who are exhausted and overwhelmed. Take, for instance, the well-meaning but clichéd mantra: “Savor every moment!” This phrase, often recited by acquaintances, is both unrealistic and condescending; it suggests that new parents should appreciate every second, even during the trying times of a fussy baby or a toddler’s meltdown in a crowded store.
So, as your children grow and you find yourself eager to dispense “helpful tips” to the visibly stressed new parents you encounter, take a moment to reflect on how such comments made you feel during those sleep-deprived days—if you can remember them at all. Here’s a quick reminder:
- “Make sure to take care of yourself so you can better care for the baby.”
Your reaction: Sure, but could you also hand me a sandwich and find my toothbrush while you’re at it? - “Breastfeeding will help you lose all that baby weight.”
Your reaction: Please, I’m not a celebrity leaving the hospital in a size-zero dress. If you mention my post-baby belly one more time, I might just come over and share my cellulite with you. - “Sleep when the baby sleeps.”
Your reaction: Right, and in that spare time, when exactly do I shower, prepare dinner, or tackle the mountain of thank-you notes for the endless supply of tiny outfits? - “Schedule some personal time away from the baby.”
Your reaction: Fantastic advice! Now, can you lend me your checkbook to afford a babysitter? Oh, and don’t ask how relaxing it is to pump milk in a public restroom. - “Remember to nurture your relationship with your partner, or it will suffer.”
Your reaction: If he comes near me right now, he might just regret it. - “Don’t try to do too much in one day; the chores can wait.”
Your reaction: I didn’t catch that over the towering piles of laundry and the echo of an empty fridge. - “The days are long, but the years are short.”
Your reaction: True, but can we fast-forward to nap time already?
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In summary, while sharing advice with new parents may come from a good place, it’s essential to remember the challenges they face. Empathy can go a long way in providing support without the added pressure of unsolicited tips.