As my 5-year-old son begins to grasp the idea of chores, we’ve assigned him simple tasks like putting away his toys and “assisting” with laundry and vacuuming. Admittedly, his approach to vacuuming is more about testing how many random objects the hose can suck up—which turned out to be an unexpected engineering lesson, especially when he discovered an ace of hearts in the process.
We’ve also implemented an allowance system of $1 each for spending, saving, and giving, inspired by the jar method suggested by Carla Greene, author of The Art of Financial Responsibility: Teaching Kids to Manage Money. Greene advises against tying chores to allowance, emphasizing that the latter serves as a financial education tool instead of a reward. It’s part of our role as parents to guide our children in budgeting, discerning needs from wants, and saving for future expenses. While kids may not “earn” their allowance, the same goes for food and shelter—we provide those as part of our parental duties.
This raises the question of whether children should earn extra money for additional chores beyond their daily responsibilities. A post from Jenna Reed on social media sparked discussion on this topic, with many chiming in on the merits and drawbacks of compensating kids for chores, whether routine or extra tasks like cleaning the gutters or organizing the garage.
Initially, I considered following Reed’s approach—offering a small payment for tasks like raking leaves or washing the dog. However, I reflected on the upbringing of my boys and the behavior of many men I’ve known. Typically, while household chores are divided, I’ve often been the one organizing the list of tasks. It’s frequently women who take on the role of household managers, ensuring everything is done.
My goal is not just to teach my boys to wash their dishes without complaint, though that is part of it. I want them to grow into adults equipped with essential domestic skills: how to meal plan, how to clean blinds effectively, and when to tackle tasks like gutter cleaning. I want them to be proactive, rather than waiting for a partner to assign chores.
There are countless small tasks that keep a household running smoothly—calculating portions for Thanksgiving dinner, knowing where to find the right cleaning products, and deciding when to clean out the fridge. These responsibilities form the core of household management, and I believe my sons should possess both financial and domestic competencies as they transition into adulthood.
If I pay them for chores, they might choose to skip certain tasks or only do the enjoyable ones. However, adulthood often involves tackling less desirable responsibilities without any financial incentive. So, for now, I will demonstrate how to clean out the vacuum hose—especially after discovering that ace of hearts lodged inside.
This article was originally published on August 12, 2015.
Summary
The author reflects on the importance of teaching children not just about money management but also essential household skills. By not linking chores to an allowance or paying for additional tasks, the aim is to prepare boys for adulthood with a sense of responsibility and initiative in managing a household.