Parenting
The Evolving Identity of the Modern Mom
By Jamie Rivers
Updated: Dec. 20, 2015
Originally Published: Aug. 10, 2015
As a mom, I find pieces of myself in various working mom categories. I empathize with stay-at-home moms (SAHMs), understand the challenges faced by working moms, and even identify as a work-at-home mom (WAHM) to some extent. Yet, I feel constrained by these traditional labels. Drawing from my personal journey and observations, I propose a new category: the Do-It-All Sort of Mom (DIASOM).
The DIASOM embodies a blend of different mom work identities. Many of us, including myself, engage in multiple roles while struggling to fully embrace one specific identity—similar to a shopper who frequently buys and returns items.
My experience as a DIASOM looks like this: I have two children and juggle three jobs that collectively fall short of full-time hours. I teach writing classes online and on weekends. Having started my career as a teacher, I cherish the classroom environment and keep the door open for a potential return to teaching in the future. Additionally, I conduct yoga classes because I enjoy practicing and sharing its benefits. I completed a teacher training in 2008, and I’m committed to keeping that passion alive. I also hold a part-time position in communications, which helps me stay connected to the field while contributing a small portion to our household expenses. Writing is another aspiration I pursue, though not consistently.
When I’m not working, I strive to be involved in my community, volunteering on two local boards and at the temple—though I must admit I haven’t quite started on that yet. Most of my time is spent at home, taking care of my children, managing household chores, and preparing (or reheating) meals.
Picture this: I’m at my computer, typing away, with little ones clinging to my legs, often dressed in yoga pants and sporting a messy ponytail.
Being a DIASOM has its advantages. I’m rarely bored, and I can share insights from my diverse experiences during dinner conversations. However, I often wonder if my fragmented contributions spread me too thin, preventing me from making a significant impact in any one area.
My thoughts frequently race:
- Should I return to teaching and utilize my experiences as a parent to inspire the next generation?
- Would it be better to embrace my spiritual side, teaching yoga and writing about its philosophy?
- Should I commit to writing that novel I’ve always dreamed of?
- Is it time to focus on my day job and build a career around it?
- Or should I prioritize creating a spotless home with home-cooked meals and engaging conversations?
Choosing the latter option would mean setting aside my electronic devices when my kids are around!
As a DIASOM, I check off many boxes but find myself in a constant state of uncertainty, hesitant to invest everything into one endeavor while questioning if I’m missing out on a more fulfilling path by not fully committing.
Like working moms who feel torn between responsibilities or SAHMs defending their choice to educate their children, we DIASOMs face our own struggles. Perhaps one day I’ll take a leap into one of my passions and see where it leads me. Or I may continue to keep all my plates spinning, hoping none come crashing down.
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In summary, the DIASOM represents a nuanced approach to motherhood, embracing multiple roles while grappling with the desire for deeper commitment. As we navigate our diverse responsibilities, we often find ourselves seeking balance and fulfillment.