Parenting
I’m Not a Perfect Mom by Jessica Taylor
Updated: Aug. 20, 2023
Originally Published: Aug. 6, 2023
I often find myself questioning my abilities as a mother. To simply call myself a mom without attaching the word “imperfect” would feel disingenuous to the reality of motherhood. I hold a deep conviction about nurturing and caring for children wholeheartedly. I understand the immense sacrifices that come with this role. However, in practice, I frequently fall short of these ideals. Hence, I often label myself as an imperfect mom.
This isn’t a trendy statement or a badge of honor. I openly express my struggles with motherhood in my writing, yet I find it harder to forgive my own shortcomings when it comes to my children. I am a bundle of contradictions. For instance, I strongly advocate for introducing music to children early on to foster their creativity, yet I often fail to provide them with appropriate musical options. Instead, you might catch me blasting hip-hop classics during school drop-off. Yes, I’ll admit it: Tupac’s lyrics have probably made their way into our car rides.
I enjoy a drink or two; it’s not the cornerstone of my lifestyle, but let’s be real—there are nights when I might indulge a little too much and stumble through bedtime stories. I find myself yelling over trivial things, like “Put your toys away!” or “Stop bothering your brother!” and then ironically, I end up yelling at them for yelling.
I often rely on television to entertain my kids, sometimes more than I should. The TV becomes their babysitter while I catch up with friends or even sneak a moment for myself. I’ll even tell my kids, “Mommy’s in the bathroom!” while scrolling through social media. I want to shield them from sunburns, but I often forget sunscreen. I can’t seem to locate the hand sanitizer when they really need it. They enjoy dessert way too often, and yes, I occasionally indulge in Happy Meals.
I also find myself cursing in front of my children, and unsurprisingly, they’ve picked up on it. When I say, “Five more minutes until I join you,” that can easily stretch into an hour or more—if I remember at all. My journey to motherhood was not a straightforward path. I once believed that having children would shatter my dreams and aspirations.
When I got pregnant as a young adult, I was overwhelmed with fear. I worried about the future—my career, my finances, my freedom. After my first child was born, I felt shattered. I struggled to bond with my newborn, often feeling empty despite my instinctual love for them. I compared my parenting to that of my mother and others around me, which only deepened my feelings of inadequacy.
Yet, through this journey, I learned that I could embrace being a “bad” mom—one who is flawed and imperfect. Slowly, I pieced myself back together through writing and connecting with others who share similar struggles. I began to celebrate my shortcomings and recognize that I am a mom because I love my kids. I’m a mom because I strive to provide for them and teach them essential values like kindness and respect.
I invest in their education and encourage their interests, while also allowing them the space to learn independence. I’m a mom because I teach them about diversity and acceptance, emphasizing the importance of love for all, except for those who don’t deserve it.
I know there are days when I could improve, learn from my mistakes, and strive harder. But the reality is, I’d rather be an imperfect mom than not be a mom at all.
This reflection is a reminder that every mother has her unique journey, and it’s okay not to have it all figured out. If you’re interested in exploring more about motherhood and pregnancy, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination. For those considering their options, you might also find helpful information about thoughtful gifts that keep on giving.
Summary:
Motherhood is filled with challenges, and many women struggle with the expectations placed on them. Embracing imperfections and acknowledging the complexities of parenting can lead to a more fulfilling experience. By sharing personal experiences, we can foster a sense of community among mothers who may feel inadequate. It’s important to recognize that being a “bad” mom in one’s eyes might not mean being a bad mother at all.