As a new parent, I frequently encounter the advice to “sleep when the baby sleeps” and the equally popular notion of “letting the housework slide.” This latter suggestion, much like the saying “a messy home is a happy home,” implies that by ignoring the clutter, I can focus on enjoying precious moments with my little ones. The idea is that if I overlook the dirty dishes and laundry, I can immerse myself in playtime, exploring the joy in everyday sounds like the garbage truck or marveling at the clouds above. The belief is that once I lighten my load, I can truly engage with my children and savor the fleeting time we have together.
However, this advice is quite unhelpful for me.
First off, where exactly is the housework supposed to slide? For someone who strives for efficiency without being obsessive, there’s hardly any wiggle room. Those dishes will inevitably need to be cleaned before they can serve food again. Sure, washing them as needed might save a few seconds here and there, but that time is quickly lost when I have to scrub off dried-on food instead of simply rinsing it. Likewise, while I could wear laundry straight from the basket instead of folding it, I still need to wash and dry it first, not to mention the time spent digging through the pile for something to wear.
Even if procrastination could lessen the burden of specific chores, the visibility of unfinished tasks can amplify the overall workload due to the “broken windows theory.” Although this concept has faced criticism in political circles, it clearly applies at home. A sink overflowing with dishes and piles of laundry fosters an environment of disorder, subtly encouraging further neglect. The messier the space, the more likely inhabitants are to contribute to the chaos by leaving trash and dirty clothes around.
In essence, the housework I let slide accumulates like a snowball rolling down a hill, gathering more and more as it goes. It waits for someone to deal with it later, and that someone is invariably me. That “later” often comes after the kids are in bed, when I could be enjoying a good book or catching up on my favorite shows.
For some, the sight of unfinished tasks can derail their plans for relaxation. Personally, I’ve never appreciated taking long breaks or extended lunches because it’s difficult for me to unwind when there’s still work lingering. I could postpone cleaning the kitchen after breakfast to play a game of “Row, Row, Row Your Boat,” but I wouldn’t be focused on the moment. Instead, I’d find myself distracted by the messy paper towels and fruit scraps nearby. If I take just a couple of minutes to tidy up before engaging with the kids, I can truly enjoy the time we have together.
Recently, I’ve started to question the assumption that housework interferes with parenting. When we envision a parent organizing the living room while their energetic children play nearby, it’s easy to wrongly conclude that the parent’s focus on chores detracts from their engagement. In reality, the opposite can be true. When my kids’ reasonable demands—like needing to eat, talk, and cuddle—overwhelm me, I find comfort in completing small, manageable tasks like sorting socks. By tackling these tasks, I can regain a sense of order and calm in the chaos that surrounds me, making it easier to enjoy the moment when it arrives.
Letting housework slide means pushing responsibilities onto my future self, increasing stress and robbing me of a necessary outlet. Thus, I’ll continue to handle the housework, allowing this piece of advice to slide instead. If you’re interested in exploring more about family planning, you can check out this insightful piece on couples’ fertility journeys. You might also find helpful information on pregnancy at March of Dimes, as well as expert insights on pest protection at Insect Protection.
Summary
In conclusion, while advice to overlook housework in favor of parenting moments may seem appealing, it often leads to increased stress and chaos. Efficiently managing household tasks allows for a sense of control, facilitating a more enjoyable and engaged parenting experience.