In this ongoing narrative, a devoted mother shares her experiences as her youngest daughter embarks on her senior year of high school and navigates the college admissions landscape. Simultaneously, she reflects on her own journey as she prepares for an empty nest and contemplates her next steps in life as her role as a stay-at-home mom comes to a close.
August has always marked for me the gradual decline of summer. The days grow noticeably shorter, and the airwaves fill with back-to-school advertisements. Yet this August feels even more significant. My youngest child is on the brink of her senior year of high school, and in just a year, I will transition to being an empty nester, even if only part-time while she attends college.
Eighteen years ago, I made the pivotal decision to resign from my position as managing editor at a small publishing house in New York to become a stay-at-home mom. At the time, I had a three-year-old daughter and was four months pregnant with my second. My job no longer brought me joy, and the thought of a two-hour commute combined with caring for two young children seemed daunting. My husband and I were unsure if we could manage on a single income, but we decided to take a leap of faith—I would stay home for one year, dedicating myself to our newborn, and then seek a new job that would ideally be closer to home. “Just one year,” I assured my husband the night before I submitted my resignation.
One year quickly turned into two, then five, then ten, and ultimately eighteen. Throughout this journey, I occasionally considered returning to work, submitting applications and even receiving job offers. However, I consistently chose to remain home. Despite financial strains—I knew how fortunate I was to have that choice—I cherished my role. I became an active volunteer in my daughters’ schools, started a small nonprofit, and eventually returned to my writing roots, contributing freelance articles to a local newspaper and self-publishing three novels. Each year, I pondered whether it was the right time to return to the workforce, but I always found reasons to stay.
My younger daughter required my undivided attention. When people inquired about my lack of employment, I would gently clarify—I don’t work outside the home. This was often during social gatherings, where I emphasized that my daughter was my focus. And indeed, she needed every ounce of my attention, even during her school hours, especially when she was home.
Now, she is preparing to step into her own future. We’ve toured various colleges; she has her list ready. She has completed her SATs and ACTs, requested recommendations from teachers, and cataloged her extracurricular activities. While she is eager to embrace college life, a wave of apprehension washes over her. She struggles with being away from home, dislikes changes in her routine, yet is excited about meeting new friends and gaining independence.
I am thrilled to assist her as she embarks on this important transition into adulthood. The pressing question for her is which college will she choose? Will it be the small university across the country with its unique block scheduling? The liberal arts school that felt like home from the moment she arrived? Or the larger private college just a few hours away, offering a plethora of majors that will keep her options open? What will her life look like a year from now?
Equally pressing for me is the question of my own future. What will I be doing when this time arrives next year? Most of my friends have returned to work, many in full-time roles. Some managed to balance part-time jobs while our children were in elementary and middle school, navigating a mix of daycare and babysitters until their kids were old enough to be left alone. Their efforts have paid off; they’ve climbed the career ladder, taken promotions, and embraced new challenges. Others ventured back into education to obtain advanced degrees to re-establish themselves in the job market. Meanwhile, I have not pursued any of these paths.
Will I seek employment—part-time or full-time? In this competitive job market, will I even find something suitable? Should I volunteer in a field that piques my interest, or take time to reorient myself after my daughter leaves? Should I explore something entirely new or stay within my comfort zone of writing? I could write novels indefinitely; is that sufficient?
At 47, after dedicating 21 years to raising my children, my time to focus on myself is approaching. But what does that future hold for me?
It truly marks both the beginning of a new chapter and the end of an era for both of us.
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Summary
As a mother prepares for her youngest child’s senior year of high school, she reflects on her journey as a stay-at-home mom and contemplates her future as her daughter approaches college. Facing the dual challenges of an impending empty nest and the search for personal fulfillment, she navigates the emotional landscape of this transitional period.