For me, volunteering has often been a source of mixed emotions. I experienced more guilt than satisfaction, feeling a deep sense of regret that I wasn’t contributing as much as I could have. Throughout the swim season, I observed a group of dedicated mothers who devoted their time and energy to ensure the team thrived. I watched them tirelessly haul tables, food, and a plethora of supplies to every meet and practice. They trained timers, coordinated concessions, managed ribbons and placements, and organized heats and events, all while sending out impeccably timed spreadsheets to prepare us for the upcoming competitions. These women were phenomenal.
As I offered my limited support over the summer, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I wasn’t doing enough, which led to ongoing feelings of remorse. This made me reflect on the nature of volunteerism in the parenting landscape. It truly is an art form.
In the grand tapestry of volunteer opportunities, each parent plays a unique role. While one parent may successfully orchestrate an entire event, another might take a much-needed break after a year of PTA meetings. One parent might devote time to organize a special function for their child, only to arrive late to a celebration for another. Meanwhile, as one parent leads the charge in sports, theater, or scouting, their partner may be engaged in other activities or organizations.
Some parents are barely hanging on to the fringes of volunteerism, working overtime just to make ends meet and preferring to spend their scarce free time at home. Others may be so exhausted from parenting that they have little left to give. We all experience this at some point.
With these various scenarios in mind, I propose a three-part guideline for volunteering:
- Avoid judgment and assumptions.
- Value every volunteer’s contribution.
- Do what you can, without self-recrimination.
As parents, we contribute to the best of our abilities, don’t we? Despite my feelings of inadequacy for not doing more to support those admirable volunteers, I reminded myself of the many events, ministries, and activities I’ve devoted time to over the years. I’ve been in their shoes—just not during this particular season (pun intended).
I have taken on roles as a leader, organizer, worker, and mover of tables and supplies. I’ve spent countless hours setting up and cleaning up. There have been times when I felt resentment toward those who simply enjoyed the benefits of my hard work without lending a hand. I know many of you can relate.
So, the next time you see a parent resting on the sidelines during an event, remember that they may have had a long day or just come from an event they organized themselves. They may be so worn out that merely showing up was a challenge, or like me, they might have decided it was their turn to take a break.
The fine art of volunteerism requires a delicate balance that deserves our respect and understanding.
It’s also important to acknowledge families who may choose not to volunteer at all—let’s assume they have their reasons too.
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Summary:
Volunteering as a parent is a nuanced endeavor that varies from individual to individual. It’s essential to appreciate each person’s contribution, avoid making judgments, and understand that everyone has their limits. Recognizing the art of volunteerism can lead to a supportive community where every effort is valued.