As a parent, I’ve come to the sobering realization that possessing nice things is a luxury I can no longer afford. Sure, I fantasize about elegant crystal chandeliers, delicate porcelain dishware, or even a sleek sports car parked in the driveway. But alas, I am just a regular mom—think of me as a contemporary Cinderella, minus the talking animals or magical sidekicks.
To make matters more complicated, I have toddlers. Any seasoned parent knows that not only should you avoid having nice items within arm’s reach of little ones, but you also need to steer clear of potentially hazardous objects. Items like easily accessible medications, firearms, and antlers displayed on the wall must be strictly off-limits. However, I never anticipated that these eight items would also need to be banished from my household:
- Chairs
Entering my home is akin to visiting a concierge desk. We have a lovely dining table, but chairs? No chance. Toddlers find chairs irresistible for climbing, turning everything into their personal jungle gym. You won’t find a coffee table, footrest, or ironing board here either—trust me, it’s for the best. - Tablecloths
Tablecloths have earned a permanent spot on the banned list. They tend to serve as a launching pad for an avalanche of food, drinks, and bills. If a toddler gets their hands on that smooth fabric, everything on the table is likely to end up in a chaotic tumble. - Blinds
Ever seen a toddler swing from blinds? It’s quite a sight! With that little tug on the pull strings, you might find yourself plunged into darkness. Who has time to shop for new blinds? Certainly not this busy mom! - Display Shelves or Bookcases
These pieces of furniture are nothing more than climbing walls for toddlers. As a lover of books and knick-knacks, I’ve had to stow them away, far from tiny hands that see them as an invitation to scale new heights. - Toilet Paper
Walking into my living area often feels like stepping into a Charmin factory. When nature calls and a toddler makes a break for the bathroom, you best believe they’ll create a mess worthy of a sitcom. - Coffee Mugs
In our home, coffee mugs are hidden away as if they were contraband. Toddlers are magnetically drawn to the warmth and smell of coffee, which makes it all the more vital for us to keep it out of their reach. - Light-Colored Clothing
Welcome to the realm of toddlerhood, where your wardrobe will inevitably turn into a canvas for spills and stains. Gone are the days of wearing your beautiful white maxi skirt; now, you’ll likely look more like a tablecloth from a family restaurant. - Potted Plants
While the outdoors offers plenty of play opportunities, nothing can attract a toddler quite like a potted plant. If you dare keep one, expect to find dirt scattered across your floors and leaves shredded all over your furniture—it’s like gardening indoors!
For those of us navigating the toddler years, it’s clear that we must forgo the fairy-tale lifestyle—at least for now. Although your heart may brim with love, your home might feel a bit barren. But don’t fret; there will be plenty of time to find that missing glass slipper.
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