In today’s world, we’re caught in a peculiar conflict of ideas. While headlines warn of a rising obesity crisis in America, and regulations on sugary drinks and school lunches become commonplace, there’s an unspoken rule that we must avoid discussing weight with our children—especially our daughters—out of fear of instilling “body shame.” The expectation is to maintain a healthy lifestyle without ever uttering the word “weight,” which frankly, is nonsense.
This is yet another instance of political correctness complicating a straightforward issue. I once tried to explain to my daughter the importance of healthy eating. Her response, typical of a 9-year-old, was both amusing and revealing: “Will it make me die?” She’s weighing the immediate pleasures of that second brownie against the far-off consequences of unhealthy eating. The idea that her choices might lead to long-term health problems doesn’t resonate with her; at her age, she thinks future concerns are irrelevant. However, when I directly tell her that too many brownies could lead to weight gain, she quickly sets it aside.
I certainly don’t want my daughter to feel pressured to look like a doll to be valued. Yet, the contradictory messages we send our kids are doing them a disservice. Despite our reassurances that weight doesn’t matter, it does. Having struggled with my own weight throughout life—fluctuating through sizes 2 to 14—I know firsthand that being slender tends to be more enjoyable. Carrying extra weight can create challenges, from social situations to job opportunities, and it can even lead to significant health risks.
So why are we deceiving our daughters by suggesting their body size is inconsequential? I’ve opted for a balanced approach with my daughter. I explain that while society may insist that size shouldn’t matter, it often does. Growing up overweight can be disheartening. The frustration of finding clothes that fit well, or having to take the elevator while friends sprint up the stairs, can be isolating. I emphasize that while her worth as a person is unaffected by her size, it can indeed influence her enjoyment of childhood and adolescence.
My goal is to shield her from the difficulties of being overweight. If that means using the word “fat” in our discussions, so be it.
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In summary, I believe in having open and honest conversations with my daughter about weight. While the topic is sensitive, avoiding it entirely is not the answer. Instead, I strive to provide her with the information she needs to make informed choices about her health and well-being.