Parenting can be overwhelming, and sometimes I have the urge to lash out at my children. I want to throw things or even kick them—though not consistently. It’s during those moments when I’ve exhausted all my patience, and they’re acting like little tyrants.
Despite this, I have wonderful children and a fulfilling life. My husband and I love our community, our home, and the schools our kids attend. As a stay-at-home parent who writes on the side, I find joy in both the big picture and the small, everyday moments. My kids, aged 6 and 3, are curious and kind, and I am incredibly proud of them. Yet, there are times when I feel the urge to smack them.
Everyday Challenges
Take, for example, the way my daughter struts in after school, her attitude oozing defiance. When she refuses to take off her sandals and proclaims, “I don’t care about your carpets,” I remind her that shoes belong off the floor. If she taunts her younger brother by flaunting a chocolate muffin, I reiterate that we don’t say hurtful things in our family. And when she snatches a toy from the baby’s hands, I calmly tell her that she can be upset, but she needs to go to her room until she can discuss her feelings respectfully. Yet when she laughs and defiantly declares, “No! I won’t go!” I can’t help but feel a primal urge to retaliate.
I’ve always been a pacifist and a former educator who cherishes children. Yet, there are moments when I feel the impulse to strike.
Unforeseen Challenges
Before becoming a parent, I was unaware of the challenges that would arise—like the emotional toll of miscarriages that several of my friends and I have faced. I didn’t anticipate the feeling that any energy I devote to my kids comes directly from my own well-being. I often find myself suppressing the instinct to say things like “be careful” or “hurry up.”
And then there are the more destructive urges. “Don’t shake the baby” seems like a simple directive, yet in moments of overwhelm, I just want the crying to stop. It’s difficult to maintain perspective, especially during exhausting days, and realize that the baby’s safety is paramount.
Managing Frustration
With my older children, even when I keep that perspective in mind, the urge to lash out remains. It feels instinctual, almost reflexive, akin to flinching when something is thrown at you. Learning to stand firm takes practice, yet nobody prepares you for these feelings of frustration. Parenting classes focus on first aid or dealing with external threats, but they don’t address what happens when you feel like you are the source of danger.
Many of us navigate this challenge on the job, learning to manage our desires to lash out without acting on them. Sometimes that energy gets redirected—we might kick a toy or slam a door instead.
The Importance of Self-Control
Child abuse is reprehensible, and we must harness every ounce of self-control and societal pressure to prevent it. I never understood how it could occur until I became a parent myself. While I don’t resort to violence, I understand how it can happen. Just don’t do it. Ever. This advice may sound simple, but it’s incredibly challenging.
Conclusion
In conclusion, parenting is filled with unanticipated urges and emotions. It’s crucial to find constructive ways to cope and channel frustrations without resorting to violence. If you’re navigating similar feelings, remember that you’re not alone, and seeking resources can help. For more information on home insemination, check out this article. For insights into infant care, you can refer to this review. Additionally, for a comprehensive guide on pregnancy and related topics, visit this excellent resource.