Have you ever questioned whether your child has developed an unhealthy attachment to electronic devices? Here’s a straightforward guide to help you assess the situation.
- Allow your child a reasonable amount of time on their device—certainly not as long as it would take to read War and Peace, but longer than it takes you to scrub the last remnants of lunch off a plate.
- Politely request if they could wrap things up in the next five minutes.
- Gently remind them that there is just one minute remaining from your initial five-minute warning.
- Calmly announce that their time is up.
- Listen as they respond with a casual “One sec,” which could be a sign of their engrossment.
- Employ your authoritative parent voice, warning them that you may need to take the device away.
- Notice the eye roll that could win an Oscar for its dramatic effect.
- Threaten to not only confiscate the device but also to send them to their room if they continue with the eye-rolling.
- Hear them insist, while maintaining eye contact, that they absolutely did NOT roll their eyes at you.
- Remind them (once again) that every lie they tell contributes to the suffering of innocent puppies somewhere in the world.
- Realize that throughout this conversation, they’ve kept playing their game, likely Minecraft, with one eye while the other is rolling.
- Reiterate that Electronic Hour has officially ended.
- Watch as they dramatically slam the device down, grunt, and immediately declare their boredom.
- Suggest a variety of enjoyable activities that don’t involve staring at a screen. It helps if you can recall fun games from your childhood, such as kickball, pick-up sticks, or hopscotch.
- Observe the transformation of your once-bright child into a moody version of themselves, with their discomfort etched across their face.
- Explain that if they persist in behaving like a spoiled child, their electronics will be permanently confiscated. Even if it’s an empty threat, maintaining eye contact can lend you some authority.
- Witness as they leap from the couch, unleashing a scream that only dogs can hear, while flailing their arms like a cartoon character.
- Calmly inform them that their device is being taken for 24 hours, urging them to collect themselves.
- Notice them at a loss for words, opening and closing their mouth like a fish, before storming up to their room.
- As they ascend the stairs, listen to the tearful claims of “ruining my life” and “I’m moving out.” You mentally note possible employers for a 12-year-old.
- Five minutes later, they return to “apologize” and request their device back.
- Upon hearing the word “No,” they repeat steps 15-20, now adding that you are being “unreasonable” and “overreacting.”
- Savor the moment, perhaps with a bit of humor or a drink, to cope with the situation.
If any of this resonates with you, it’s likely that your child is indeed struggling with electronics dependency. Welcome to the club—where the only prerequisites are a good sense of humor, a drink, and a charger.
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Summary
This guide offers a humorous yet relatable examination of how to determine if your child is addicted to electronics, outlining various scenarios that illustrate their attachment. It highlights the common struggles parents face and offers resources for further exploration.