In a surprising turn of events, my son decided to forgo a near full scholarship to college after just one year. He doesn’t have another baseball opportunity waiting for him, nor is he pursuing a thrilling gap year abroad. In fact, aside from his intention to finish his studies back home in California, he’s uncertain about his future. All he knows is that he was unhappy where he was.
When he received a combined baseball and academic scholarship to a Division 2 university, our excitement was palpable. We had briefly entertained doubts about sending him all the way to South Dakota, but they were quickly eclipsed by pride as we watched him celebrate onstage during the NCAA’s early signing event, honoring local high school athletes.
As I reflected on his journey—years of AP courses, countless hours of practice, and the financial investment in training and gear—I felt an overwhelming sense of achievement. Our family’s weekends spent traveling for baseball tournaments had led to this moment of joy.
We had visited the university, braving a blizzard upon our arrival, and my son appeared eager for the new adventure. However, the reality proved to be far less exciting for someone who had grown up in sunny California, surrounded by surf and mountains. So, when he expressed a desire to come home just a week into his second semester, I was taken aback.
While the thought of having him closer was comforting, I grappled with the fear of having failed him. Had I raised a child who didn’t appreciate a remarkable opportunity? Was he a quitter? Did I inadvertently teach him to bolt when faced with adversity?
Yet, by the end of his freshman year—after he drove 1,700 miles back home in less than 48 hours—I gained a new perspective.
1. He is not a quitter.
My son endured a challenging first semester, silently battling issues like the region’s infamous mosquitoes and harsh weather conditions. He engaged in early morning workouts and long practices, focused on securing a starting position at third base. While he achieved that goal, the baseball program ultimately proved incompatible with his aspirations, leading to a decline in his passion for the sport. His decision to leave was not made lightly.
2. He is a problem-solver.
Rather than simply asking to come home, my son conducted thorough research on potential majors, tuition costs, scholarship opportunities, and baseball programs across various California universities. He not only devised a plan but also prepared multiple backup options.
3. He will learn from his decisions.
I shared my insights with him, urging him to weigh the consequences of leaving: “Starting as a freshman is a significant honor. You might not have that chance elsewhere.” “Remember, this scholarship is a privilege. You’ll need to cover any additional costs yourself.” “This university offers your desired major. Are you sure leaving is the best choice?” Will he regret his decision? Time will tell. My role is to guide him but ultimately allow him to choose his path. Be it soaring high or facing setbacks, I trust he has the resilience to navigate his journey.
4. His happiness is paramount.
After considering all options, including the possibility of stepping away from baseball entirely, my son chose to leave. The next morning, he told me, “I woke up feeling happier than I have since college began. For the first time, I felt free.” I recalled moments from my own life when I felt trapped and wished to spare my son from experiencing that.
5. His accomplishments remain intact.
The scholarship had been a monumental achievement for our family, and I came to realize my struggle was not rooted in disappointment about my parenting or my son’s choices, but rather in mourning the dreams we had for what this experience could have been. Nevertheless, the pride I felt during his signing day is unshakeable; that memory is ours to cherish forever.
Ultimately, my son made a decision that he believes is best for him. While NCAA regulations prevent him from playing at another Division 1 or 2 school this year, he has chosen to join a junior college team in Southern California, which has a track record of successful player recruitment. The coach is well-regarded and has already secured a position for my son at third base. We hope that when he transfers to a four-year university in his junior year, he’ll have another scholarship opportunity. For now, the future remains uncertain.
What I do know is that my son is swinging for the fences. As always, I will be right by his side, cheering him on.