We’ve all seen the heart-wrenching headlines: “Child left in car, tragically dies.” It hits hard, a visceral punch that leaves us reeling. “What kind of parent could do that?” we wonder, our hearts swelling with disbelief.
The truth is, any parent can fall into that trap. I came perilously close myself.
As a new mother of two under two, my world was a whirlwind. My daughter was just 18 months old, and my son was a mere ten days old. Those early days of motherhood can feel like being in a surreal dream where night blends into day, and time loses all meaning.
“Don’t try to take it day by day,” a friend advised me. “Take it minute by minute.”
My newborn wouldn’t sleep unless I held him and bounced him while crooning a slightly altered version of “Nothing but a G Thang.” Meanwhile, my daughter, who had been an only child until recently, decided to fully embrace her Terrible Twos, demanding attention in between her brother’s fleeting catnaps. I was fueled by a cocktail of adrenaline, hormones, and caffeine, all while a heavy veil of exhaustion clouded my mind.
On one particular day, I experienced a moment that made me realize how easily it can happen. We had just returned from our morning coffee run. I was juggling a full bladder, a whiny toddler who felt shortchanged on her muffin, a ringing phone, and a distracting Howard Stern on the radio. In that chaos, I forgot my son.
It’s astonishing how quickly the mind can slip. I couldn’t recall the sleeping infant safely secured in his rear-facing car seat, only the wailing toddler craving blueberry muffin. If not for the uncomfortable reminder of my full breasts, I might not have remembered at all.
“There but for the grace of God go I,” I murmured as I finally lifted my son into my arms, feeling the warmth of his little body nestled against me.
I am far from a perfect mother, but my love for my children is unwavering, and I try my best every day. Since learning I was pregnant with my first child, I’ve come to appreciate that motherhood is a sacred gift—never to be taken lightly. The unfortunate parents who have lost their children to forgetfulness likely did everything in their power to care for them.
It’s all too easy to forget. A sleepless night, a disruption in routine during holidays, or a sudden crisis can throw us off balance. One moment of distraction—whether it’s a phone call or an unexpected obligation—can lead to autopilot taking over. How many of us have driven somewhere and can’t recall the journey?
We’ve all been there.
So, how do we prevent such tragedies?
After nearly making an unthinkable mistake, I compiled a list of strategies to help keep our little ones top of mind:
- Put your essentials in the backseat: Placing your purse, wallet, or phone in the rear can serve as a prompt when you finish driving. We instinctively check for our belongings, and though our children are far more vital, our routines can cause lapses in memory.
- Engage with your child: Even if your baby is a mere ten days old and fast asleep, talking to them keeps their presence in your mind.
- Set reminders: Schedule daily emails or set an alarm on your phone to ping you at a specific time.
- Buddy system: Establish a check-in routine with a family member to confirm that all children are accounted for at school, daycare, or camp. You can also request that staff alert you if your child hasn’t been dropped off.
- Leave a reminder: Keeping a toy, diaper bag, or bottle in the front seat can act as a visual cue.
- Use clothing as a cue: In winter, leave your jacket in the back seat. In summer, take off a shoe. You’re unlikely to get far without your coat or shoes, prompting you to remember your child.
- Technology aids: With the rise of these tragic incidents, companies have developed gadgets equipped with alarms to help parents remember their babies.
Please take steps to remind yourself to never leave your children behind. We all believe we’re not “that kind of parent,” yet those who have forgotten their children likely held the same conviction.
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Summary
Parenting involves immense responsibility, and it’s crucial to stay mindful of our children, especially in chaotic moments. Simple strategies can help ensure we never forget our little ones are in the backseat. By implementing reminders and engaging with our kids, we can prevent tragedies that no parent ever wants to face.