Parenting
When a Good Girl Decides to Go Rogue
Living a life of constant goodness was clearly unsustainable. I knew that eventually I would crack. While I wasn’t about to turn to illegal activities, the weight of always being “the good one” started to feel oppressive.
© Courtesy Clara Gentry
I had lost the distinctiveness of my goodness; I was just Clara, blending into the background. I found myself in a constant race to outdo my previous achievements just to earn a modicum of praise. It was exhausting. In contrast, my third-grade classmates who frequently found themselves in trouble were celebrated for the most trivial accomplishments. “You stayed in your seat today, fantastic!” they were told. Meanwhile, I had been sitting still for eight years!
In middle school, I submitted a short story for extra credit that ended up published in a national children’s literary magazine, yet the Eighth Grade Writing Award went to Lucas T., who simply enjoyed writing. The school’s response felt dismissive: “You’ve always liked writing.” I was just Clara, nothing out of the ordinary. When you’re always good, you become part of the background noise, just another cog in the machine.
So, I made the decision to break away from the mold.
Drugs weren’t my chosen path; they seemed too trivial, especially when my laid-back parents made it clear that I could experiment with anything, as long as I did it in front of them. Their message was clear; I needed a different way to rebel.
As a freshman in high school, I found myself surrounded by a sea of other good kids. Faced with the dilemma of either distinguishing myself by being even better or slightly less good, I opted for the latter. The first option meant hours of community service and participation in clubs that existed primarily for college applications or trendy T-shirts. The second option felt like a challenge, and I accepted it.
One fateful night in ninth grade, I neglected to complete my English homework due to my packed schedule. Exhausted, I fell asleep before reading a particular act of Hamlet. The next day, when homework was collected, I turned to my very responsible friend, Emma, and asked if I could copy hers. I could see the conflict in her eyes: Should she adhere to the rules and deny her friend, or help me out? Ultimately, she chose to help, and I hastily paraphrased her answers just in time to submit my homework before it was collected.
Imagine my shock when we learned the assignments would be graded, and even more so when mine was returned with a higher score than hers.
Even in my misstep, I retained my “goodness.” It was a strange lesson to cheat and not only evade consequences but to come out ahead. Sure, I felt a rush of satisfaction—“I’ve got this,” I would have thought if such a phrase existed back in 1987—but the thrill was fleeting. It wasn’t fulfilling. While I could easily navigate the world of English homework, I encountered challenges in other areas. Physics? A disaster. Returning phone calls? Forget it. Merging into the left lane? A nightmare. Those shortcomings didn’t define me; they simply added character to my otherwise proper life.
Now, as I raise my own ambitious daughter, I will encourage her to strive for excellence. But I will also remind her that sometimes, it’s perfectly acceptable to just be okay. If she feels the urge to experiment with pushing boundaries, and it’s safe, she should embrace the challenge of breaking a few rules—just be really good at it.
This piece was originally published on July 3, 2015.
For more insights on navigating the challenges of parenting, check out this article on fertility supplements. Additionally, for those facing tough times in their journey to conception, this resource offers valuable support. And if you’re looking for expert information on pregnancy and home insemination, this link provides excellent resources.
Summary
In her reflective piece, Clara Gentry shares her journey from being the quintessential good girl to embracing the idea of rebellion, albeit in a mild form. She recalls how the pressure of maintaining her “good” status led her to explore the thrill of bending rules, all while recognizing her inherent goodness. As she parents her own daughter, she aims to balance the ideals of excellence with the understanding that sometimes it’s okay to be just average.