As I stand in the grocery store checkout line, I can’t help but notice the flashy magazine covers shouting about ways to enhance your marriage. They often focus on revamping your sex life, keeping the romance alive, or preventing monotony in the bedroom. However, I can’t help but think, “These articles are clearly not written for parents.”
1. Leave Flirty Notes
The first tip suggests leaving sexy notes around your home. But if you have kids who can read, that’s a definite no-go. What would I write? “I love it when you change the baby’s diaper”? Not exactly what they meant!
2. Lingerie in the Kitchen
Wearing lingerie while cooking dinner? That’s a recipe for disaster—especially if your kids are around. Even if they’re asleep, I’d need to keep a blanket handy for a quick cover-up when they inevitably wander into the living room.
3. Role Play
One article suggested going to a bar and pretending to be strangers. I mentioned this to my partner, and he just laughed. I could picture him playing pool while I awkwardly waited at the bar.
4. Creating Ambiance
Light some candles, sprinkle rose petals, and play some romantic music. Sounds lovely, right? But with my track record of accidents, candlelight may lead to a fire drill instead of a romantic evening. Plus, by the time the kids are asleep, I’d be lucky if my partner wasn’t already snoozing on the couch. And who wants to deal with cleaning up rose petals for weeks?
5. Taking a Bath Together
How do these articles expect couples to fit in a standard-sized tub? It’s more like a game of human Tetris than a romantic experience. “Oh, how romantic, let’s both squeeze into this tiny space!”
6. Showering Together
This sounds easy enough, but what’s so sexy about shivering under lukewarm water? With only one bathroom, I can guarantee someone will need to pee halfway through our “romantic” shower.
7. Acting Out Favorite Scenes
The most popular movie in our house lately is The Croods. “Release the baby!” hardly sets the mood for romance.
These tips seem to cater to those without kids or perhaps for those rare moments when the kids are away. For parents like us, it often feels like we’ll have to wait until the children are grown—and hope they don’t bring their kids over for visits!
If you’re interested in parenting and family dynamics, check out this insightful article about home insemination kits. For those exploring family-building options, this resource provides valuable information. And for a deeper understanding of pregnancy, this Wikipedia page is an excellent resource.
In summary, marriage advice often overlooks the challenges faced by parents. The whimsical tips might work for couples without kids, but for us, they seem unrealistic. We’ll have to embrace the chaos of parenting and find our romantic moments when we can—hopefully after the kids have grown up!