“Middle age is the happiest time of life,” Eleanor Roosevelt once suggested, noting that this phase strikes a balance between youthful passion and the wisdom of experience. As someone who discovered my first gray hair at 22, I’ve felt “old” long before hitting 40. While many of my peers fretted over entering their fourth decade, I was busy scheduling yet another hair coloring appointment. For me, turning 40 was just another birthday—albeit one with a more extravagant cake. After all, aging is a privilege that deserves celebration.
That said, I won’t deny that life has evolved. If statistics and family history hold true, I’ve lived over half my life. My hormones have taken on a life of their own, I no longer receive compliments from strangers, and I’ve embraced the comfort of “granny panties” (thankfully, they’re trending now!). However, every wrinkle and sag has gifted me something invaluable—the profound wisdom of self-acceptance. I’ve come to appreciate my strengths and flaws, and I find joy in this delicate balance of middle age. Despite occasional aches in my joints that didn’t exist in my 20s, I’m thriving in this chapter.
Hitting 40 has also brought a newfound confidence. I’ve let go of worrying about others’ opinions and have become acutely aware of who I am. I know what outfits flatter my figure and which ones to leave behind. Goodbye, low-rise jeans; hello, comfortable yoga pants. Running errands without makeup has become a norm. I enjoy my glass of wine but know to stop before a hangover hits. My guilty pleasures—HGTV, shiny lip gloss, and fried foods—bring me joy without shame. The lessons of four decades have sharpened my self-awareness.
No longer do I chase trends or seek validation from boys; my heart is no longer fragile. I cry over significant matters rather than trivial disappointments. I can comfort friends while also holding them accountable. My dance parties in the privacy of my home and singing in the shower are unrestrained joys. I’ve learned to pause before reacting to slights because most of them are inconsequential. My time is now dedicated to what truly matters: passions and relationships that bring joy instead of drama. I exercise for my happiness, not to prove anything. I indulge in chocolate, chicken fingers, and kale—not all at once, of course.
When self-doubt creeps in, I’ve developed strategies to silence it. It’s not that insecurities vanish; rather, I recognize they only hold as much power as I allow. The negative self-talk that tells me I’m not good enough is a nuisance I’ve learned to dismiss. It’s just a voice that probably never received the affection it needed.
I’ve nurtured a healthy relationship and have gained insight into those who might not be as fortunate. I’ve bought a house and turned it into a home. I’m raising a child, tending to a marriage, and cultivating a garden—and I take pride in my abilities, not because I’m special, but because I’m dedicated. Mistakes happen, often, but I strive to rectify them instead of pretending they don’t exist. Reading has become a blend of long-form articles, novels, and even gossip pages—40 allows for both seriousness and silliness. I’ve opted out of Snapchat, simply because it doesn’t interest me. And yes, I’m still undecided about pedicures.
Life has brought its share of challenges; loved ones have fallen ill, and some have passed away. These experiences have taught me gratitude and the importance of resilience. I’ve realized that age is merely a number, and allowing fear of it is an exercise in futility.
Reaching 40 doesn’t mean the absence of fear, insecurity, or failure; it signifies the acquisition of perspective. It’s not about losing youth, but rather embracing oneself and appreciating the culmination of four decades of experiences.
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Summary
Turning 40 can be a transformative experience, filled with newfound confidence and self-acceptance. Embracing this stage of life allows individuals to prioritize genuine relationships and personal passions while recognizing the value of their life experiences. Despite the challenges that come with aging, this period offers a balanced perspective, enabling a deeper understanding of oneself and greater appreciation for the journey ahead.