“Are you ready?” he asks.
“Uh, yeah. I think so,” I reply, shifting the car into drive and cautiously releasing the brake.
“Give it some gas,” he instructs. I obey, and the car jolts forward like an overly enthusiastic toddler taking its first steps. I hit the brakes hard, and we both lurch back in our seats, our seat belts tightening.
“First rule,” my dad states, “always buckle up. Let’s try that again.”
Growing up in St. Louis, Missouri, during the mid-’80s, I was excited to get my full driver’s license at 16. In preparation, my dad and I spent weekends practicing in empty parking lots and quiet backroads. As an eager teenager, I thought a few lessons would suffice to get me on the road. I quickly discovered I had much more to learn. Here’s what my dad taught me about driving and life:
1. Keep Your Hands at 10 and 2
In the beginning, I had my hands all over the steering wheel, which drove my dad crazy. He insisted that the safest grip was at 10 and 2, mimicking the hands on a clock. Over the years, my hands have strayed—resting at the bottom during long trips or hanging over the top during traffic. Yet, I find comfort in that 10 and 2 position, just like my dad taught me. It’s important to explore new methods, but returning to what works is key when needed.
2. Don’t Depend Solely on Your Mirrors
Mastering the rear- and side-view mirrors took time. Once I got the hang of it, my dad reminded me that while mirrors are helpful, they’re insufficient for lane changes. I needed to look over my shoulder to ensure it was safe. This was daunting—how could I drive without looking straight ahead? However, he encouraged me to trust myself, emphasizing that awareness of what’s behind was just as crucial as what’s in front.
3. Steer Into the Skid
Living in the snowy Midwest, I often faced wintry roads. When my dad told me the best response to skidding is to steer into it, I thought he was nuts—until I skidded for the first time. Remembering his advice, I turned into the skid and regained control. Facing challenges head-on can feel counterintuitive, but it’s often the best way to navigate adversity.
4. Always Come to a Complete Stop
St. Louis is filled with four-way stops, each with specific rules. When you’re the only car at the stop, it’s tempting to roll through. This is a bad idea because another car might be doing the same thing, leading to an accident, and it can result in a hefty ticket (which I’ve received). Taking a moment to stop completely allows you to assess the situation before proceeding. You might even reconsider your route.
5. If You Need a Ride, Just Call
My parents were savvy about high school party dynamics. Whether it was me or a friend driving, my dad ensured I kept a few quarters in my purse for emergencies. I might have rolled my eyes, thinking I could handle everything myself. But after being abandoned at a Steak ‘n Shake one Saturday night, I finally called him for help. You don’t have to face challenges alone—there are people willing to lend a hand.
Looking back, the life lessons I absorbed from my dad during our driving sessions didn’t fully resonate at the time. Now, as a parent who spends countless hours in the car, I often hear my dad’s voice advising me to keep both hands on the wheel (even when one of my kids is asking for a snack), come to a full stop (even when we’re running late), and remember that the rearview mirror doesn’t always show the complete picture. My oldest is approaching driving age, and I’m ready to share the rules of the road with her, alongside invaluable life lessons that I hope will stick.
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