For those unfamiliar with the heartland of America, here are 14 things that define the Midwestern experience:
- Cow Tipping Myths: While some claim to know a cow tipper, the truth is that it’s a rare occurrence. We all have our stories, like that guy in high school, Jim, who allegedly tipped more cows than you can imagine. It’s our version of sharing legendary tales.
- Burn Barrel Know-How: For those living in the hilly areas, preparing a sled and managing a burn barrel fire is second nature. We also master the art of caution: “Step back; you’ll get burned!” and “A little butter will help, trust me.”
- Church Festival Excellence: Our Catholic church festivals are unmatched, featuring perfectly roasted corn slathered in butter, and games that are genuinely enjoyable. Winning a cake in the cakewalk? That’s a highlight, especially when it’s homemade.
- Driving in Winter: If you see someone stranded in the snow, chances are they’re not a local. We’ve mastered the art of driving in wintery conditions.
- Cornhole Culture: Not every Midwesterner is a fan of cornhole, yet we’ve all tried it at least once. Tossing bags at a board isn’t everyone’s idea of fun, but it’s part of our collective experience.
- School Pride: When meeting someone new, the conversation inevitably turns to which high school you attended—not college. It’s a rite of passage in our social interactions.
- Weather Commentary: The classic line, “Don’t like the weather? Just wait five minutes,” is a staple among us, especially when reminiscing about the extremes we face throughout the year.
- Euchre Enthusiasm: Whether it’s a casual game or a tournament, euchre is taken very seriously. Discussions about rules and gameplay are essential before even dealing cards.
- Enjoying Tractor Pulls: Despite the jokes, when a tractor pull is nearby, we can’t help but watch. There’s something captivating about the spectacle.
- Hospitality to All: Any child who steps into our home is guaranteed a warm meal. If they refuse, we’ll offer multiple times, and we’ll provide unsolicited advice to their friends without hesitation.
- Jell-O Molds Tradition: Once Midwestern women hit their 50s, the tradition of suspending food in gelatin becomes a culinary rite, just like our mothers did.
- Local Beaches and Skiing: We may lack oceans and towering mountains, but we know how to enjoy our local beaches and hit the slopes in winter.
- Pop and Friendliness: We enjoy our soda and are known for our welcoming demeanor. In Cincinnati, suggesting a three-way is just part of the conversation.
- Coastal Wanderlust: Some of us venture out to coastal areas, but we often find our true sense of belonging back in the Midwest.
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In summary, growing up in the Midwest comes with its own traditions and quirks, from the myths of cow tipping to the joys of euchre and church festivals. It shapes our identities and binds us together with a unique camaraderie that remains, no matter where life takes us.