My eldest son is now sixteen and has a girlfriend. How did we get here? It feels like just yesterday I was bringing that tiny bundle home from the hospital. Wasn’t it only moments ago that he was enchanted by cartoons while I fawned over the show’s host? And wasn’t the most significant stressor during his childhood just signing him up for tee-ball?
Yet, I blinked, and he’s now more young man than boy, navigating the complexities of his first teenage relationship.
At sixteen, I had my first serious boyfriend too. My mother took me to the doctor for birth control. Looking back, I realize how challenging that must have been for her. Most parents, I believe, wish to keep their kids young and innocent. It’s heart-wrenching to gradually let go, watching them step into their own lives. We impose lectures and rules in an attempt to keep them safe, often to soothe our illusions of control over their decisions.
As much as I’d prefer to keep my son tethered to my apron strings, I recognize that it’s unrealistic. He is maturing and making more of his own choices. My hope is that his father and I have instilled values that guide him toward sound decision-making.
One night, over dinner, two of my close friends pointed out that with a girlfriend and at his age, it was time for me to buy condoms and have that essential conversation with him. Not the talk about sex, but about protection and responsibility. I was taken aback. Although I remembered what my mother did for me, I wasn’t ready for this with my own son.
However, as I pondered their advice, I realized they were right. I could deny my son’s thoughts about sex, convince myself his relationship was innocent, or I could face the reality that when I was his age… I had experiences too. The nagging voice in my head warned, “While you’re avoiding the truth, he could end up facing life-altering consequences.” The thought of two young lives on a possibly irreversible path terrified me.
So, I sat down with my son and gave him the birth control talk—a brief yet heartfelt conversation where I tried to mask my anxiety while he stood there, looking utterly bewildered. I quickly recognized that if he ever chose to be sexually active, he might not have the means or courage to get condoms himself. And if things escalated… well, it only takes one time.
On my next trip to Target, I had condoms on my mind. But when I reached the aisle, I hesitated. For weeks, those boxes seemed to taunt me. Eventually, I mustered the courage to navigate that aisle, stealing glances at the colorful packaging as I passed. Finally, I decided that today was the day.
I approached the aisle and checked for any onlookers. Finding it empty, I rolled my cart forward, only to be met with a wave of panic. Neon words screamed at me: “Pleasure Pack,” “Easy Glide,” “Ribbed for Her Pleasure.” Oh no! I didn’t want to think of my son enjoying pleasure! “Just breathe,” I told myself. I finally spotted the plain, no-frills condoms at the bottom of the display. How many should I get? Six? Twelve? Ultimately, I opted for the bulk pack of 36—not because I wanted him to have that much intimacy, but because I never wanted to face this aisle again on his behalf.
I tossed the box in with my groceries, feeling a mix of anxiety and tears as I approached the checkout. Of course, every cashier was a young man, likely just out of high school. I momentarily felt embarrassed about my purchase but pushed the thought aside.
Later, I discreetly placed the box of condoms on a high shelf in my son’s bathroom and sent him a message:
“Hey Son,
On the top shelf in your bathroom cabinet, there’s a bag. Inside it, you’ll find a box of condoms. I realize this might be unsettling for you—your mom buying you condoms? I get it. It wasn’t any easier for me to buy them than it is for you to read this. But at your age, it’s important to be prepared, and I want to ensure you’re protected. This isn’t permission from Dad or me. Sex is a big responsibility, and I hope you’ll wait. However, I understand you’ll make your own choices, just as I did. Please make those choices wisely and responsibly. Here’s a video on how to use a condom: [insert video link].
Love,
Mom”
Since then, we haven’t discussed it. He never acknowledged my message, which I expected. Occasionally, I catch sight of that Target bag on the shelf, and I know I made the right choice.
For those navigating similar situations, you might find helpful resources on thinking about fertility treatment and essential baby gear for keeping cool this summer. And if you’re interested in more about family planning, check out our post on home insemination kits.
Summary:
Navigating the journey of parenthood brings unexpected milestones. As children grow into their teenage years, conversations about relationships and responsibility become essential. This piece recounts a mother’s experience as she confronts the reality of her son dating and the necessity of providing him with protection. Through a blend of humor and honesty, it highlights the challenges and responsibilities parents face in guiding their children toward safe choices.