Two summers ago, I embarked on an East Coast journey to visit colleges with my son, who was preparing to enter his senior year. This summer, I’m looking forward to doing the same with my daughter. The college tour experience serves as a significant milestone that helps aspiring students gain insight into potential schools, what they desire in an institution, and what colleges seek in their applicants. However, as a parent, I find that these tours offer me valuable benefits as well:
1. Embracing a Calm Perspective
Having graduated at the top of my class and attended a prestigious university, I understand the weight of academic achievement. Yet, I’ve learned that life’s true value lies in personal growth rather than the name of your alma mater. With a child who faces health challenges and another with disabilities, I’m reminded that success means little without love and well-being. While many parents around me exude anxiety during tours and ask loaded questions, I find solace in being the composed one in the room.
2. Rediscovering Myself
With four kids aged between 6 and 19, the past couple of decades have been a whirlwind. As I look forward to moments for writing, travel, and quality time with my husband, these college trips offer me a rare chance to reconnect with myself. Encountering diverse art, architecture, cuisine, and music enables me to reflect on my preferences and aspirations. During our tours, I explore art studios with my son, which sparks a personal journey of rediscovery—reminding me of my own artistic passions and the importance of finding focus in my life.
3. Experiencing a Different Lifestyle
While not exactly a luxurious getaway, traveling to different hotels and dining out every night certainly feels like a treat. I appreciate the growing number of affordable suites and the delightful array of coffee shops and bistros along the East Coast. Although a long drive on the Pennsylvania Turnpike isn’t quite first-class travel, I’ve learned to savor the experience—especially when my teenager curates the perfect playlist for our road trip.
4. Cherishing Quality Time with My Teens
My teenagers often prefer to spend time with friends or retreat to their rooms, making the college tour an invaluable opportunity for bonding. The shared experience allows us to reconnect, fostering both meaningful conversations and lighthearted moments. The car becomes a space for dialogue, where we can discuss everything from serious matters to silly anecdotes. This trip enables me to understand my children’s current lives and share my own stories, creating cherished memories together.
5. Learning to Let Go
The college tour is an excellent setting for parents to practice restraint. While I’ve already navigated the college experience, it’s essential to allow my child to explore, question, and form their own opinions. I can hope that the values my partner and I instilled have taken root, but it’s time for them to cultivate their own paths. And let’s be honest, there’s nothing quite like the moment your child leans in during an info session to suggest skipping the tour—providing more time for a wonderful dinner and quality moments together.
In summary, college tours provide parents with a unique opportunity to relax, explore their identities, enjoy a brief escape from routine, bond with their children, and practice the art of letting go. These experiences not only assist in the college selection process but also foster deeper connections and self-reflection.
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