As a mother of two spirited daughters, I often reflect on my own upbringing. Unlike my mother, who navigated single parenthood alone, I am fortunate to have a supportive partner who actively participates in our children’s lives. My husband is a doting father who enthusiastically engages with our girls, whether it’s belting out off-key tunes during music class or organizing trips to the fire station for a close-up of the engines.
My father, though loving, was geographically distant after my parents separated, having to work overseas. Despite the affection conveyed through letters and phone calls, my mother was the one who handled the day-to-day parenting alone. While I recognize the challenges of single motherhood, I believe my upbringing equipped me with invaluable strengths. Here are three ways growing up with a single mom has shaped my resilience:
1. A Powerful Female Role Model
My mother managed to juggle her undergraduate studies and law school while raising my sister and me. Watching her strive for academic and professional success instilled in us the importance of hard work and self-sufficiency. In our household, there was no strict adherence to traditional gender roles; Mom took care of everything from paying bills to changing the oil in the car. If she opted out of an activity—like camping—it was simply because it didn’t appeal to her, not because of her gender. This taught us the value of personal choice and independence.
2. Clear Boundaries and Authority
Before becoming parents, my partner and I discussed our upbringings. He shared that his parents were always united in their parenting decisions, which is a rarity among two-parent families. In contrast, my sister and I had the clarity of knowing that our mother was the sole decision-maker. There was no opportunity to play one parent against the other, which provided us with a sense of security and stability. We learned to respect her authority and understand the boundaries she set without the complications of differing opinions from a partner.
3. Expectations of True Partnership
Both my sister and I ended up marrying partners who are well-rounded and capable individuals. They take pride in various skills, from home repairs to culinary creations. Our choice in partners wasn’t accidental; having grown up with a strong, independent mother, we sought relationships that reflected those values. While we do encounter gender dynamics in our marriages, we strive for open communication and equality. I am grateful to be parenting alongside a loving husband, and I appreciate that I have the choice to do so rather than feeling obligated.
My mother’s example has shown me that single parenting can be fulfilling and empowering. The resilience and strength I gained from her experience are gifts that shape my approach to motherhood today. For those considering parenthood through alternative means, resources like American Pregnancy provide valuable information, and Make a Mom offers essential kits for home insemination. If you’re wondering about the longevity of these kits, this source has you covered.
In summary, growing up with a single mom has instilled in me a profound sense of strength, clear values, and an understanding of the importance of partnership in parenting.