Are you gearing up for marriage? Why bother with the traditional bridal shower when you can simply send out cards requesting cash? A recent post on a popular forum showcased an invitation for a “quiet bridal shower,” which seems to be a new trend. I always thought bridal showers were cozy gatherings where women shared sandwiches and exchanged gifts. Apparently, that’s no longer the case.
The invitation read: “Join us for a Silent Shower! There will be no party, no guests, no bride, and no boxed gifts. Just purchase a shower greeting card, include a check made out to [insert name], and mail it in the provided addressed envelope. All envelopes will be collected, wrapped, and sent to the newlyweds.”
Requesting checks in this manner stretches the meaning of “celebrate.” It feels more like a request for bill payments than a joyous occasion. While there’s an implicit expectation that wedding guests will present gifts, this understanding should never be overtly articulated. Social customs exist for a reason; we’ve long treated showers as festive events, and that shouldn’t change now.
When inviting guests to your wedding, they are already aware that gifts are customary—there’s no need to spell it out. Weddings can be a financial burden for everyone involved, not just the couple. With the rising costs associated with weddings, some couples may feel an unspoken entitlement to receive gifts or money in return.
Sending out a letter that says “send checks here” feels just plain strange. It conveys, “I can’t be bothered with organizing a bridal shower or creating a registry, but I still want your money.”
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In summary, the trend of “quiet bridal showers” raises eyebrows and highlights a shift in how some couples approach gift-giving expectations. While generosity is often appreciated, openly requesting cash undermines the spirit of celebration that traditionally accompanies wedding festivities.