Today was, by all measures, a completely ordinary day. In fact, there are countless days that resemble today—mundane and without any notable events. There were no grand celebrations, no remarkable achievements to speak of. Yet, have you ever stopped to consider that it is these seemingly ordinary days that actually comprise the bulk of our lives? It’s not the spectacular moments or the extraordinary opportunities that shape our existence; rather, it’s the everyday occurrences that linger in our memories. John Lennon famously stated, “Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans.” I believe that life unfolds in the simplicity of these ordinary days.
Despite this truth, the messages we receive from advertisements, social media, and polished images all promote the extraordinary. It’s no wonder that many of us sometimes feel inadequate, as if we’re falling short of some unattainable standard.
We encourage our children to pursue their dreams, to aim high, and to believe in their own capabilities. We tell them they are intelligent, kind, and courageous—because they truly are. However, in our enthusiasm to instill ambition and bravery, are we neglecting to teach them the value of the ordinary? In our pursuit of grand aspirations, are we overlooking the beauty found in everyday goodness?
Fortunately, children often possess an innate ability to find joy in simplicity and purpose in acts of kindness. My youngest son, Liam, beams with pride when someone praises his snack choices from the grocery store, and he feels a true sense of accomplishment when he can brighten his sibling’s day. Kids inherently crave love, kindness, and the joy of doing the right thing.
Recently, my son, Oliver, confided in my partner about a conflict he was experiencing with a classmate. We discussed how sometimes kids feel down and just need a friend. We brainstormed ways he could help the boy feel better, and we suggested he be especially kind to him the following day. The next day, I stood at my usual spot on the playground, waiting for Oliver to come over. Typically, he strolls towards me with friends, but this time he rushed up to me, exclaiming, “You won’t believe it! I was so nice to this kid, and he was nice to me back!”
Let me clarify: Oliver has never run to me with news after school before—not about a great grade or a goal scored in gym class. His updates usually trickle in slowly, but this moment of courage and kindness was something he was eager to share. To him, this was extraordinary.
While children may dream of becoming astronauts or actors, what they truly desire is reassurance that the gentle and quiet aspirations—like being a good friend, putting in effort, and loving unconditionally—are more than sufficient.
As a child, I envisioned myself as a loving mother with a happy family. I had a few grand ambitions, like traveling the world and owning horses, but the bulk of my dreams were rooted in simplicity: a strong marriage, a caring family, and meaningful friendships. I wanted to create a warm home, share moments of joy with my children, and enjoy peaceful evenings with my partner.
Yet, despite living out these dreams today, I sometimes feel like I’m not enough. I tell myself I need to achieve more, do more, and be more. There’s a nagging voice that suggests I’m falling short in juggling family, career, and friendships. I know I’m not alone in this feeling; many good parents and partners who lead fulfilling lives still struggle with the notion of inadequacy because they haven’t reached their bold ambitions.
This leads me to ponder: How can we support our children’s lofty aspirations while also nurturing their quieter dreams? How can we help them reach for the stars while also teaching them to appreciate the abundance that surrounds them? How can we alleviate the sense of never feeling enough, which so many adults grapple with?
The answer begins with us. We must honor our big dreams while embracing our soft and quiet ones with confidence. We should celebrate our efforts to be kind, brave, and loving, regardless of the outcome. We need to prioritize relationships and community, allowing ourselves to feel proud of the ways we are excelling in our roles as parents, partners, and friends. It starts with recognizing each day as special, acknowledging our worth, and understanding that we are more than enough.
A poignant poem by William Martin advises us not to push our children to strive for extraordinary lives but rather to make the ordinary come alive for them. This sentiment resonates deeply with my parenting philosophy. I have learned that when I focus on seeking prestige or chasing the extraordinary, I often end up disappointed. Conversely, when I approach life with kindness and courage, making the ordinary shine, the results are truly remarkable.
As parents, we all hold dreams for our children. While I want them to aim high, I also hope they find contentment in the everyday. I want them to learn how to build and maintain friendships, to love even those who challenge them, and to be diligent workers. Most importantly, I want them to appreciate the value of stillness, a heartfelt note, a warm hug, and comfortable silence. Above all else, when they lay their heads down at night, I want their final thought to be: “Today was special. I loved and was loved. I truly lived.”
In summary, nurturing a sense of extraordinary feelings in our children involves balancing encouragement for their big dreams with appreciation for the ordinary moments that make life meaningful. By embodying this philosophy ourselves, we can foster a generation that understands the richness of both the grand and the simple.