Some parents and their kids seem to eagerly await the summer, dreaming of lazy mornings, cold lemonade, and evenings spent chasing fireflies in the backyard. For me, however, as a mom of a child with autism, this notion feels like a far-fetched fantasy.
In our household, summer doesn’t bring the anticipated break. Sure, there are minor adjustments to the schedule, but they are meticulously planned. I have to present these changes to my “boss”—my son—and believe me, the negotiations can rival a major labor dispute. Unfortunately, I can’t just threaten to quit.
While many families enjoy sleeping in during summer, my little one is awake at the crack of dawn. Why? Because he wakes up early every single day, year-round, and guess what? We still have school. Yes, you read that right. That year-round schooling concept you and your friends joke about in early August? We’re living it. But before you start thinking, “Wow, she’s so fortunate,” hold on. My son attends school not for leisure but to prevent regression over the summer. This isn’t a bonus; it’s a necessity. And it starts earlier than the regular school year. My morning coffee has become my lifeline.
Spontaneity? Forget it! Not only are we still going to school, but therapy appointments remain in full swing, too. On top of that, we have the joy of rearranging our schedules when therapists take their vacations. How dare they prioritize their own lives! I still remember when my son’s music therapist took a week off for the birth of his child; my first reaction was, “You didn’t give birth; why should you get a break?” Yes, I know—I’m not winning any mom-of-the-year awards here.
Come winter, my husband and I often fall into what I call “Vacation Amnesia.” We impulsively book a week-long family getaway, only to realize the reality of packing later. My “To Pack” list gets longer by the year. Nothing screams maternal love like whisper-yelling, “Please be quiet! Other guests are trying to sleep!” If you think your child is quiet, take them on vacation; you’ll be shocked when the front desk calls you about noise complaints. (Pro tip: Leave a generous tip for housekeeping. Trust me on this.)
Lazy summer days don’t exist for us. Our mornings begin at the same time, and I’m not far behind my son when it comes to bedtime. Keeping a consistent schedule is crucial for him to manage his anxiety. Yes, there’s a brief break between the end of the school year and the start of Extended School Year (ESY), colloquially known as “summer school,” but it’s short and tricky to navigate. Downtime can lead to chaos. Autism doesn’t take a vacation, and while I strive to make summer enjoyable for him, adjustments are necessary.
Family BBQs? I ensure he eats before we go or bring his own food. Fireworks? Oh goodness, where are those noise-canceling headphones? Otherwise, my son might try to climb back into my womb out of fear. Pool parties? You haven’t seen a helicopter parent until you’ve witnessed an autism mom in action, hovering over her child who’s drawn to water with an alarming “no fear” attitude.
It may not align with your vision of summer fun, but for us, it’s our normal. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to create a social story about the importance of sunscreen for my son, who struggles with the sensory experience of applying it.
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Summary:
This piece humorously captures the reality of summer for a mom of a child with autism. While many families enjoy leisurely summers, this mother navigates continuous school and therapy schedules, emphasizing the importance of routine for her child’s well-being. From chaotic vacations to meticulous planning for summer events, she shares her unique perspective of summer, which often lacks the traditional relaxation and spontaneity others may experience.